“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” - James Arthur Baldwin
Today was a Personal Training Day with Jo over at Jo Dumont Fitness Training. Have I mentioned how much I love the one-on-one training? Don't get me wrong, the classes are also great, but there is something just extra challenging about the personal classes.
The workout today was shoulders and abs. My shoulders really need the help. After dislocating my right shoulder 15 months ago I have not done very much in terms of exercise or rehabilitation. I should mention that I never had great shoulders in the first place and for the first time in my life I can actually see muscles - thanks to Jo!
Part of the workout today also included balance. As a former cheerleader you would think that balance would be easy (imagine, my standing on one foot on someone else's hand), however, it's not. I attribute this to now having breasts which were conspicuously absent from my cheat throughout my cheerleading years (god bless electrical tape) - but I digress. Balance - something new to work on. Go figure.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." - Author Unknown
So, I totally missed posting on Saturday so I thought I would give you a bit of a weekend re-cap.
First, a big Hell Yeah to Jo Dumont Fitness Training and Jase Nibourg (http://www.myspace.com/jase_nibourg) for putting on an awesome Kid Safe and Women's Self Defense class this past weekend. It was a great class and I learned a lot! For those bloggers that don't know, my daughter is now able to yell at the top of her lungs "Stranger, Danger, 911!" even if it's just her and I in an aisle of a grocery store. I could never be prouder. I think the women who attended in the evening got a lot of out it as well.
For me, I spent the evening with a woman I don't know very well, but our daughters go to the same school. It was a wonderful opportunity to step outside my box and get to know someone while they were throwing me to the ground. Thanks for that, Jacquie!
Today, despite being a little sore and tired from yesterday, I did manage to run five kilometers. It was hard though since I didn't have much fuel in me. I have not been feeling very well, but don't want to have excuses not to train. So, I stumbled through a crappy run, but I got it done.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I need a good workout, it's been a few days and I feel like I'm cheating on myself somehow. That's a whole other level of guilt....
So, I totally missed posting on Saturday so I thought I would give you a bit of a weekend re-cap.
First, a big Hell Yeah to Jo Dumont Fitness Training and Jase Nibourg (http://www.myspace.com/jase_nibourg) for putting on an awesome Kid Safe and Women's Self Defense class this past weekend. It was a great class and I learned a lot! For those bloggers that don't know, my daughter is now able to yell at the top of her lungs "Stranger, Danger, 911!" even if it's just her and I in an aisle of a grocery store. I could never be prouder. I think the women who attended in the evening got a lot of out it as well.
For me, I spent the evening with a woman I don't know very well, but our daughters go to the same school. It was a wonderful opportunity to step outside my box and get to know someone while they were throwing me to the ground. Thanks for that, Jacquie!
Today, despite being a little sore and tired from yesterday, I did manage to run five kilometers. It was hard though since I didn't have much fuel in me. I have not been feeling very well, but don't want to have excuses not to train. So, I stumbled through a crappy run, but I got it done.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I need a good workout, it's been a few days and I feel like I'm cheating on myself somehow. That's a whole other level of guilt....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
"The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations." - Eli Khamarov
Oh my god do I feel like shit. I can't begin to explain how absolutely shitty I feel today. I swear to god, there is a rock in my stomach, bouncing up and down saying "die, Bitch, die".
Now this is obviously not true, rocks can't talk.
But it's true, for the first time in a month and half where I am finally living cleaner, I have hit a roadblock. My stomach hurts and I don't want to eat, infact the very notion of food makes me feel like throwing up! What in the world is wrong with me?
Today I have eaten a piece of toast with peanut butter, nearly threw it up, and that's about it.
God, I feel like shit.
Oh my god do I feel like shit. I can't begin to explain how absolutely shitty I feel today. I swear to god, there is a rock in my stomach, bouncing up and down saying "die, Bitch, die".
Now this is obviously not true, rocks can't talk.
But it's true, for the first time in a month and half where I am finally living cleaner, I have hit a roadblock. My stomach hurts and I don't want to eat, infact the very notion of food makes me feel like throwing up! What in the world is wrong with me?
Today I have eaten a piece of toast with peanut butter, nearly threw it up, and that's about it.
God, I feel like shit.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
“There may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke.” - Vincent Van Gogh
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire - or at least the entire interior of British Columbia. There is so much smoke, I can hardly see my hand infront of my face - and I live in Alberta! I have never seen anything so crazy in my life.
Needless to say, running class was out unless Amanda was prepared to carry the oxygen tank with her. It's bad enough that I had to use my inhaler like a Pez dispenser (http://www.pez.com/). I can't even imagine what THAT run would have looked like.
There is a lot of worry for me when I ponder breaking routine, missing a class, not following through...the fear is that if I make an excuse not to go, that the ability to make those excuses will become easier - how many days till working out becomes a habit?
The bright side of all of this of course, is that JDFT was completely accommodating to my situation. Amanda texted me, asking if I was going for a run and I replied no, but that I wanted to come in for a workout. There wasn't one in the plan, but they let me come in and workout. We did this amazing 20 minute "circuit on speed" and apart from some slip-ups from not knowing the actual exercise, I was able to complete the circuit. Then just for fun, I ran some steps.
I am so glad that I have found JDFT.
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire - or at least the entire interior of British Columbia. There is so much smoke, I can hardly see my hand infront of my face - and I live in Alberta! I have never seen anything so crazy in my life.
Needless to say, running class was out unless Amanda was prepared to carry the oxygen tank with her. It's bad enough that I had to use my inhaler like a Pez dispenser (http://www.pez.com/). I can't even imagine what THAT run would have looked like.
There is a lot of worry for me when I ponder breaking routine, missing a class, not following through...the fear is that if I make an excuse not to go, that the ability to make those excuses will become easier - how many days till working out becomes a habit?
The bright side of all of this of course, is that JDFT was completely accommodating to my situation. Amanda texted me, asking if I was going for a run and I replied no, but that I wanted to come in for a workout. There wasn't one in the plan, but they let me come in and workout. We did this amazing 20 minute "circuit on speed" and apart from some slip-ups from not knowing the actual exercise, I was able to complete the circuit. Then just for fun, I ran some steps.
I am so glad that I have found JDFT.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
"O wad some Power the giftie give us, to see ourselves as others see us!" - Robert Burns
I first read this quote in an Archie Comic Book. (http://www.archiecomics.com/) I know that at the time it had something to do with how Archie viewed himself in the mirror and how his reflection looked nothing like how the rest of his Gang saw him. In fact, he saw this huge buff guy, and we all know that is not how Archie was made up.
It makes me wonder though, how many times we look in our mirror and see EXACTLY how everyone else sees us. I am going to speculate that we never see ourselves the way that others see us.
Today I did Hardcore and then followed it up with a Circuit class (because I had nothing better to do than exercise tonight). While training, Jo made a comment about how we all had great looking calves. I scoffed and suggested that wasn't the case and Jo said "your calves are on the back of your legs, you can't even see them!"
Little does Jo know, and even if she does know it should come as no surprise, that I check out my body on a daily basis, looking for shreds of change that remind me that all of this working out and effort is worth doing. Inasmuch as I see some really awesome changes (are those little abs poking out? Can I really do Left/Right Burpees? Hello Mrs. Bicep....), I still see so many things that aren't how I think they should be. But, every night, I stand on the stool in front of my bed and turn and look at myself in the mirror and I know that I don't see what others see. That mommy tummy that never looks like it's getting smaller, that my ass doesn't seem quite as tight as I'd like it to be, my thighs need to be smaller, is that a wrinkle?
I think that part of change comes with the strange acceptance that our bodies and minds are constantly changing, that there are some shapes that we are never going to be (unless barbie makes a version that is 5'3" with small boobs and big thighs). But I don't need to be that shape, I can look athletic, be fit and be toned and be really really okay with that.
I'm just not there yet. Oh wad some Power giftie give me, muscled thighs and an ass that won't quit.
I first read this quote in an Archie Comic Book. (http://www.archiecomics.com/) I know that at the time it had something to do with how Archie viewed himself in the mirror and how his reflection looked nothing like how the rest of his Gang saw him. In fact, he saw this huge buff guy, and we all know that is not how Archie was made up.
It makes me wonder though, how many times we look in our mirror and see EXACTLY how everyone else sees us. I am going to speculate that we never see ourselves the way that others see us.
Today I did Hardcore and then followed it up with a Circuit class (because I had nothing better to do than exercise tonight). While training, Jo made a comment about how we all had great looking calves. I scoffed and suggested that wasn't the case and Jo said "your calves are on the back of your legs, you can't even see them!"
Little does Jo know, and even if she does know it should come as no surprise, that I check out my body on a daily basis, looking for shreds of change that remind me that all of this working out and effort is worth doing. Inasmuch as I see some really awesome changes (are those little abs poking out? Can I really do Left/Right Burpees? Hello Mrs. Bicep....), I still see so many things that aren't how I think they should be. But, every night, I stand on the stool in front of my bed and turn and look at myself in the mirror and I know that I don't see what others see. That mommy tummy that never looks like it's getting smaller, that my ass doesn't seem quite as tight as I'd like it to be, my thighs need to be smaller, is that a wrinkle?
I think that part of change comes with the strange acceptance that our bodies and minds are constantly changing, that there are some shapes that we are never going to be (unless barbie makes a version that is 5'3" with small boobs and big thighs). But I don't need to be that shape, I can look athletic, be fit and be toned and be really really okay with that.
I'm just not there yet. Oh wad some Power giftie give me, muscled thighs and an ass that won't quit.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
"All this pressure is eating me up inside
And I feel like I'm being buried alive again
All this pressure is tearing me up inside
And the fear of failing is on my mind again
The anxiety is building up inside
And the thought of losing is running strong again." - Rains "Pressure"
I am afraid of very few things: Bees, Wasps, Big Ugly Beetles and Failure.
I have grown accustomed to the concept that Failure is not an option for me and it actually scares me to think I might fail at something. This applies to my work environment, my personal life, and even to me personally.
Born a class over-achiever, my first taste of failure came in sixth grade when I failed a geography test (never mind that by gender alone I'm not supposed to be able to read a map!). What a devastating thing to go through. Honor roll student can't find Japan on a map (don't ask I probably still can't find it). But the idea of disappointing my parents, bringing home something less than a perfect score was horrifying.
Flash forward to university. Honor roll student that wasn't ready to go to university, succumbs to pressure to go be brilliant. When I withdrew a semester and a half later, I viewed it as a failure, disappointing my parents, letting myself down. I cried for an entire night contemplating the decision and when I finally made it, went down to the Dean's office signed the papers and exhaled, I actually felt better.
What I realized in that small moment was that I wasn't really living life for me, instead I was living life to please others. I wasn't really failing me, I had lived in this belief that I was failing me and others when in fact, the pressure to be something that I didn't want to be was crushing to the point I couldn't breathe and until I "chose" to do something that I wanted to do and started living life on my own terms, could I truly exhale.
I still fight the fear of failure. I have a need to be the very best at everything that I do. It's hard for me when I face a situation at work where someone doesn't see things my way, or insists on micromanaging me. The idea that when I don't meet someone else's expectations I somehow have failed - when in fact the problem may not even be me at all.
I wonder sometimes if my desire to be pleasing sometimes leads to this fear of failing? But then I would be dissatisfied if I did less than my very best just to please someone else.
A friend once explained to me about spheres of influence and spheres of control. Spheres of influence are those areas that you are not directly in control of, but have powers and abilities to affect change. Spheres of control are those things you have direct control over. If there is something that occurs anywhere else between these two spheres, my job is to just smile until someone tells me otherwise.
I feel like I've been smiling alot lately.
Circuit Tonight!
And I feel like I'm being buried alive again
All this pressure is tearing me up inside
And the fear of failing is on my mind again
The anxiety is building up inside
And the thought of losing is running strong again." - Rains "Pressure"
I am afraid of very few things: Bees, Wasps, Big Ugly Beetles and Failure.
I have grown accustomed to the concept that Failure is not an option for me and it actually scares me to think I might fail at something. This applies to my work environment, my personal life, and even to me personally.
Born a class over-achiever, my first taste of failure came in sixth grade when I failed a geography test (never mind that by gender alone I'm not supposed to be able to read a map!). What a devastating thing to go through. Honor roll student can't find Japan on a map (don't ask I probably still can't find it). But the idea of disappointing my parents, bringing home something less than a perfect score was horrifying.
Flash forward to university. Honor roll student that wasn't ready to go to university, succumbs to pressure to go be brilliant. When I withdrew a semester and a half later, I viewed it as a failure, disappointing my parents, letting myself down. I cried for an entire night contemplating the decision and when I finally made it, went down to the Dean's office signed the papers and exhaled, I actually felt better.
What I realized in that small moment was that I wasn't really living life for me, instead I was living life to please others. I wasn't really failing me, I had lived in this belief that I was failing me and others when in fact, the pressure to be something that I didn't want to be was crushing to the point I couldn't breathe and until I "chose" to do something that I wanted to do and started living life on my own terms, could I truly exhale.
I still fight the fear of failure. I have a need to be the very best at everything that I do. It's hard for me when I face a situation at work where someone doesn't see things my way, or insists on micromanaging me. The idea that when I don't meet someone else's expectations I somehow have failed - when in fact the problem may not even be me at all.
I wonder sometimes if my desire to be pleasing sometimes leads to this fear of failing? But then I would be dissatisfied if I did less than my very best just to please someone else.
A friend once explained to me about spheres of influence and spheres of control. Spheres of influence are those areas that you are not directly in control of, but have powers and abilities to affect change. Spheres of control are those things you have direct control over. If there is something that occurs anywhere else between these two spheres, my job is to just smile until someone tells me otherwise.
I feel like I've been smiling alot lately.
Circuit Tonight!
Monday, August 16, 2010
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey
I was thinking about age and it's relevance today after a good talk with my friend and personal trainer Jo Dumont. I had been noticing that certain areas of my body hurt is strange and new and wonderful ways. While the pain in my left knee wasn't new, the pain in my right ankle was.
The injuries that I sustained to these body parts were many years ago. The knee that got torqued the wrong way, the ankle that had been broken, far from memory now, suddenly rearing their head as I started using those parts of my body again, in running, and working out. It got me thinking that these injuries didn't plague me through my young adult years, I bounced back from both of these injuries rather handily, so why are they bugging me now.
So I started thinking about change, and to change something now also means a change to something that you've done in the past and you need to get in there and root around and dig things up. Maybe physiological change is a lot the same way. You've got to dig back to those old injuries that you ignored before, give them the attention they deserve and make them stronger, so that you too are made stronger.
I wonder if that's true?
I was thinking about age and it's relevance today after a good talk with my friend and personal trainer Jo Dumont. I had been noticing that certain areas of my body hurt is strange and new and wonderful ways. While the pain in my left knee wasn't new, the pain in my right ankle was.
The injuries that I sustained to these body parts were many years ago. The knee that got torqued the wrong way, the ankle that had been broken, far from memory now, suddenly rearing their head as I started using those parts of my body again, in running, and working out. It got me thinking that these injuries didn't plague me through my young adult years, I bounced back from both of these injuries rather handily, so why are they bugging me now.
So I started thinking about change, and to change something now also means a change to something that you've done in the past and you need to get in there and root around and dig things up. Maybe physiological change is a lot the same way. You've got to dig back to those old injuries that you ignored before, give them the attention they deserve and make them stronger, so that you too are made stronger.
I wonder if that's true?
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