"Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself." - Robert Collier
It never ceases to amaze me when I come back to post on my blog to find that it's been two weeks since I sat down to write. I apologize to all of you who follow so diligently. I promise, I'm not blog-cheating on you.
My life has had a inordinate number of changes in the last month. Some of them my doing, some of them not, but it's been an interesting experience trying to stay on top of everything.
Not all of the changes have been good. My boss as you know left on a medical leave and I was not chosen to be her replacement. It was a good lesson in grace and courage under fire, even if it still stings a little bit.
My aunt, passed away last week and 5 days later a member of my very extended family passed away as well. In a terrible turn of events, this meant that some of my younger cousins lost a grandma and a grandpa in the week before Christmas.
That said, there have also been some really good changes. As you may recall, on November 25, 2010, I started on my goal to not eat inside a restaurant or fast food location until January 1, 2011. I can tell you that 28 days later, I am only 10 days away from my goal.
But the BIGGEST change, has been to my work out and fitness goals. Since the end of November, I have started running on my treadmill more regularly and working out sometimes twice a day. The end result of this has, shockingly, not been weight loss, as much as it has been a loss of inches. I can celebrate the loss of two inches on my ass, and two inches on my stomach. Now there are other areas of loss of inches as well, but you get the idea, I am changing, and I'm loving it!
I feel confident walking into the Christmas Season that I can survive without pigging out. I have goals and a plan and I feel good about it.
Tell your friends to go to JDFT, it's so worth it.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then, finding a small bright pebble to content myself with" - Plato
A few years ago, my daughter and I were in Vancouver visiting family. On this particular day, we went to the shore where the tide had gone out, leaving all sorts of small tide pools, full of life and exploration. A great thing for a four year old. We walked and walked and walked while my daughter ran from pool to pool, getting her dress soaked from bottom to top, feet in every pool, peering deep into the water for the smallest signs of life.
What we found most often, was not a sign of life, but crabs, dead crabs, littering the beach that we walked on. My daughter would run up to each one and point and yell at the top of her lungs "CRAB ALERT". At one point, she finally gained the courage to start picking up these dead smelly crabs, and then screamed in horror as the one crab she picked up, seemed to fall apart right in her hands, long stringy bits of crab - we still laugh about that today.
I don't wish to be younger, I don't mind being who I am, but I miss the simpler wonderments of life, where I'm just not tired by life in general.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections." - Anonymous
I am a classic over-acheiver, the word "no" has never really been in my vocabulary and have a lot of success at whatever I put my mind to. I've been hearing "no" a lot lately.
It's not that I expect the world to be perfect, but I do hold myself to a higher standard. I want to be perfect, I want to always strive for perfection - does this mean that I'm not ever going to be truly happy?
I was passed over for an opportunity at work. To be clear, this is only the second career-related rejection that I have ever had. Well three if you count that I wasn't the first choice candidate for the position I currently have. So if all of my rejections have occurred in the last few years, what does this mean? Is it that the people in this particular industry do not know the value of what I can do? Does it mean that I'm getting to be "too old?" Have I set my goal higher than what I can acheive?
Now don't get me wrong, I have a good job, I get paid well and I have a lot of flexibility which allows me to have a good home life. All of these things are important to me. I never thoought about doing more or being more until I started in this job. Until I started having more and more responsibility and a boss who said that if she ever left her job I would be an excellent choice as a replacement, the concept of being more than a superior assistant never even crossed my mind.
I was happy being the best at what I do, so I need to figure out how to get back to happy. See this moment, this time as merely an imperfection in life, not an imperfection in me.
Shit this is hard...
I am a classic over-acheiver, the word "no" has never really been in my vocabulary and have a lot of success at whatever I put my mind to. I've been hearing "no" a lot lately.
It's not that I expect the world to be perfect, but I do hold myself to a higher standard. I want to be perfect, I want to always strive for perfection - does this mean that I'm not ever going to be truly happy?
I was passed over for an opportunity at work. To be clear, this is only the second career-related rejection that I have ever had. Well three if you count that I wasn't the first choice candidate for the position I currently have. So if all of my rejections have occurred in the last few years, what does this mean? Is it that the people in this particular industry do not know the value of what I can do? Does it mean that I'm getting to be "too old?" Have I set my goal higher than what I can acheive?
Now don't get me wrong, I have a good job, I get paid well and I have a lot of flexibility which allows me to have a good home life. All of these things are important to me. I never thoought about doing more or being more until I started in this job. Until I started having more and more responsibility and a boss who said that if she ever left her job I would be an excellent choice as a replacement, the concept of being more than a superior assistant never even crossed my mind.
I was happy being the best at what I do, so I need to figure out how to get back to happy. See this moment, this time as merely an imperfection in life, not an imperfection in me.
Shit this is hard...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get." - Frank A. Clark
I have a strange gift. It's not a gift that I like to use and more often than not I have to be careful when I do use it. I call my gift "the ability to put power to words." But this isn't a postiive gift, I can't say something like "I'm going to win the lottery." and it happens, in fact, it is quite the opposite.
Example one:
I was working in Red Deer many years ago and I could not for the life of me print a document. So I emailed the document to my husband. When he brought me the document at the end of the day I said "oh, is that your pink slip?" We laughed. Less than 18 hours later, my husband was being walked out of his office.
Example two:
As my husband and I were driving home after example 1, I commented "don't worry, we are in good shape, I can manage the rent and it's not like we have car problems or anything." Not more than 15 minutes later, the differential goes on our car.
Example three:
A friend and I were having lunch about a year ago. We were talking about our dogs, both which at that time were already quite old. We discussed that it wouldn't be long before our dogs were gone. I commented "I think your dog has a lot of years in him yet, he'll be here for a while yet." That afternoon her dog just fell over dead in th backyard.
Example four:
I put my wedding ring on six weeks before my wedding, at the advice of my jeweller who insisted that I wear it a couple of days to make sure the sizing was right. A friend of mine told me that it was bad luck to wear the ring before my wedding. I laughed and said "I don't beleive in bad luck." That afternoon my photographer quit, I had a car accident on the way to meeting a new photographer that evening, and two days later I had to ask my maid of honor to step down.
When things go wrong in life, as they sometimes do I often find myself asking "what did I forget to be grateful for?" and more often than not, when I start focusing on what is good in my life, and remember to be grateful for the good things I do have, things tend to turn themselves around.
I have a strange gift. It's not a gift that I like to use and more often than not I have to be careful when I do use it. I call my gift "the ability to put power to words." But this isn't a postiive gift, I can't say something like "I'm going to win the lottery." and it happens, in fact, it is quite the opposite.
Example one:
I was working in Red Deer many years ago and I could not for the life of me print a document. So I emailed the document to my husband. When he brought me the document at the end of the day I said "oh, is that your pink slip?" We laughed. Less than 18 hours later, my husband was being walked out of his office.
Example two:
As my husband and I were driving home after example 1, I commented "don't worry, we are in good shape, I can manage the rent and it's not like we have car problems or anything." Not more than 15 minutes later, the differential goes on our car.
Example three:
A friend and I were having lunch about a year ago. We were talking about our dogs, both which at that time were already quite old. We discussed that it wouldn't be long before our dogs were gone. I commented "I think your dog has a lot of years in him yet, he'll be here for a while yet." That afternoon her dog just fell over dead in th backyard.
Example four:
I put my wedding ring on six weeks before my wedding, at the advice of my jeweller who insisted that I wear it a couple of days to make sure the sizing was right. A friend of mine told me that it was bad luck to wear the ring before my wedding. I laughed and said "I don't beleive in bad luck." That afternoon my photographer quit, I had a car accident on the way to meeting a new photographer that evening, and two days later I had to ask my maid of honor to step down.
When things go wrong in life, as they sometimes do I often find myself asking "what did I forget to be grateful for?" and more often than not, when I start focusing on what is good in my life, and remember to be grateful for the good things I do have, things tend to turn themselves around.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010 - The Promise
It is one month until Christmas and I make the following pledge:
I will not eat out in a restaurant, unless it is Christmas Party related until the New Year.
Who's with me?
I will not eat out in a restaurant, unless it is Christmas Party related until the New Year.
Who's with me?
Thursday, November 25, 2010
"You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens." - Unknown
I had training with Jo today. She said that I had to update my blog because my last blog was just so depressing to see up there first every day. I appreciate that she looks back to my blog once in a while.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's not something that I share with a lot of people, but when I do, I'm pretty candid about it: I do not like most people.
I do need to preface this a little bit. You see, people, as a whole, are falliable. People are going to let you down - this is a simple fact of life. People will fail you. Now, I am just as guilty as the rest of you, I have failed people. I have said that I would show up, only to call last minute and cancel. I have told a secret that wasn't mine to share. I have hurt people, however unintentionally, with the best of intentions in mind. I am not perfect, nor do I expect other people to be perfect. However, I have had my share of failures, of disappointments, and countless times I have been rejected by my peers.
It is probably not suprising then, that I would choose to not like most people. But this choice, is out of protection, not because I think that all humans are bad, but because I like to minimize the amount of investment I make to people who are going to let me down. I choose to keep my circle small to people that I can count on, people that do what they say they are going to do. Why? Because it hurts less when they let you down. People that generally do what they say they are going to do are dependable, and they get a lot of credit in the integrity bank account that I have set up for them, when they disappoint me, they might lose a little interest, but by and large they remain in good standing. But more importantly, people who do what they say they are going to do, help me to be accountable right back at them. I want my integrity bank to be just as full, if not more full with them.
People will always let you down at some point, I just choose to be picky about who I will accept that from. Are you in my inner circle? How is your integrity bank account?
I had training with Jo today. She said that I had to update my blog because my last blog was just so depressing to see up there first every day. I appreciate that she looks back to my blog once in a while.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's not something that I share with a lot of people, but when I do, I'm pretty candid about it: I do not like most people.
I do need to preface this a little bit. You see, people, as a whole, are falliable. People are going to let you down - this is a simple fact of life. People will fail you. Now, I am just as guilty as the rest of you, I have failed people. I have said that I would show up, only to call last minute and cancel. I have told a secret that wasn't mine to share. I have hurt people, however unintentionally, with the best of intentions in mind. I am not perfect, nor do I expect other people to be perfect. However, I have had my share of failures, of disappointments, and countless times I have been rejected by my peers.
It is probably not suprising then, that I would choose to not like most people. But this choice, is out of protection, not because I think that all humans are bad, but because I like to minimize the amount of investment I make to people who are going to let me down. I choose to keep my circle small to people that I can count on, people that do what they say they are going to do. Why? Because it hurts less when they let you down. People that generally do what they say they are going to do are dependable, and they get a lot of credit in the integrity bank account that I have set up for them, when they disappoint me, they might lose a little interest, but by and large they remain in good standing. But more importantly, people who do what they say they are going to do, help me to be accountable right back at them. I want my integrity bank to be just as full, if not more full with them.
People will always let you down at some point, I just choose to be picky about who I will accept that from. Are you in my inner circle? How is your integrity bank account?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2010
"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowin how to live with insecurity is the only security." - John Allen Paulos
If there is anything that I learned today, it's this: nothing is about me.
I have always been a proponent of the philosophy that if you don't like something, change it. If you don't like something and you fail to make a change, you have lost the right to complain about it. (Sort of stems into the reason that I don't vote and don't complain about government - but that's a whole other blog.)
Change is good, change is growth. I have devoted my entire blog to the concept of change, personal change, professional change, changes in relationships. I like change. I am an agent of change. I am just not good at change when it affects me and I have no inflluence over outcomes.
My boss is leaving for at least six months on a medical leave. Scary stuff. In fact, there is a possibility she may not come back to work. Her story really isn't mine to tell, but it does explain that there is a huge unknown right infront of me and until someone tells me what is in the distance, there is little I can do.
So, I make a plan in my head, I know what needs to be done, I have been doing my boss' job for sometime and have a good head on my shoulders about where the business operations are at. I would make an excellent manager...but as it is you can't trust anyone. Someone who says they have your back and will endorse you - when in fact they endorse a colleague.
I'm too fucking mad to continue this blog today.
If there is anything that I learned today, it's this: nothing is about me.
I have always been a proponent of the philosophy that if you don't like something, change it. If you don't like something and you fail to make a change, you have lost the right to complain about it. (Sort of stems into the reason that I don't vote and don't complain about government - but that's a whole other blog.)
Change is good, change is growth. I have devoted my entire blog to the concept of change, personal change, professional change, changes in relationships. I like change. I am an agent of change. I am just not good at change when it affects me and I have no inflluence over outcomes.
My boss is leaving for at least six months on a medical leave. Scary stuff. In fact, there is a possibility she may not come back to work. Her story really isn't mine to tell, but it does explain that there is a huge unknown right infront of me and until someone tells me what is in the distance, there is little I can do.
So, I make a plan in my head, I know what needs to be done, I have been doing my boss' job for sometime and have a good head on my shoulders about where the business operations are at. I would make an excellent manager...but as it is you can't trust anyone. Someone who says they have your back and will endorse you - when in fact they endorse a colleague.
I'm too fucking mad to continue this blog today.
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