Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself." - Robert Collier

It never ceases to amaze me when I come back to post on my blog to find that it's been two weeks since I sat down to write.  I apologize to all of you who follow so diligently.  I promise, I'm not blog-cheating on you. 

My life has had a inordinate number of changes in the last month.  Some of them my doing, some of them not, but it's been an interesting experience trying to stay on top of everything. 

Not all of the changes have been good.  My boss as you know left on a medical leave and I was not chosen to be her replacement.  It was a good lesson in grace and courage under fire, even if it still stings a little bit.

My aunt, passed away last week and 5 days later a member of my very extended family passed away as well.  In a terrible turn of events, this meant that some of my younger cousins lost a grandma and a grandpa in the week before Christmas.

That said, there have also been some really good changes.  As you may recall, on November 25, 2010, I started on my goal to not eat inside a restaurant or fast food location until January 1, 2011.  I can tell you that 28 days later, I am only 10 days away from my goal.

But the BIGGEST change, has been to my work out and fitness goals.  Since the end of November, I have started running on my treadmill more regularly and working out sometimes twice a day.  The end result of this has, shockingly, not been weight loss, as much as it has been a loss of inches.  I can celebrate the loss of two inches on my ass, and two inches on my stomach.  Now there are other areas of loss of inches as well, but you get the idea, I am changing, and I'm loving it!

I feel confident walking into the Christmas Season that I can survive without pigging out.  I have goals and a plan and I feel good about it.

Tell your friends to go to JDFT, it's so worth it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then, finding a small bright pebble to content myself with" - Plato

A few years ago, my daughter and I were in Vancouver visiting family.  On this particular day, we went to the shore where the tide had gone out, leaving all sorts of small tide pools, full of life and exploration.  A great thing for a four year old.  We walked and walked and walked while my daughter ran from pool to pool, getting her dress soaked from bottom to top, feet in every pool, peering deep into the water for the smallest signs of life. 

What we found most often, was not a sign of life, but crabs, dead crabs, littering the beach that we walked on.  My daughter would run up to each one and point and yell at the top of her lungs "CRAB ALERT".  At one point, she finally gained the courage to start picking up these dead smelly crabs, and then screamed in horror as the one crab she picked up, seemed to fall apart right in her hands, long stringy bits of crab - we still laugh about that today.

I don't wish to be younger, I don't mind being who I am, but I miss the simpler wonderments of life, where I'm just not tired by life in general. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.  It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections." - Anonymous

I am a classic over-acheiver, the word "no" has never really been in my vocabulary and have a lot of success at whatever I put my mind to.  I've been hearing "no" a lot lately. 

It's not that I expect the world to be perfect, but I do hold myself to a higher standard.  I want to be perfect, I want to always strive for perfection - does this mean that I'm not ever going to be truly happy? 

I was passed over for an opportunity at work.  To be clear, this is only the second career-related rejection that I have ever had.  Well three if you count that I wasn't the first choice candidate for the position I currently have.  So if all of my rejections have occurred in the last few years, what does this mean?  Is it that the people in this particular industry do not know the value of what I can do?  Does it mean that I'm getting to be "too old?" Have I set my goal higher than what I can acheive?

Now don't get me wrong, I have a good job, I get paid well and I have a lot of flexibility which allows me to have a good home life.  All of these things are important to me.  I never thoought about doing more or being more until I started in this job.  Until I started having more and more responsibility and a boss who said that if she ever left her job I would be an excellent choice as a replacement, the concept of being more than a superior assistant never even crossed my mind.

I was happy being the best at what I do, so I need to figure out how to get back to happy.  See this moment, this time as merely an imperfection in life, not an imperfection in me. 

Shit this is hard...