"Die when I may, I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower might grow" - Abraham Lincoln
Tomorrow I am driving to Calgary. It's not a far drive, but it is a trip I have been dreading for some time. You see, my aunt is dying of cancer and only has a short while left to live. Days perhaps.
My aunt was diagnosed more than a year ago and I have never really acknowledged it with her. Some might argue indifference, but the truth is, how do you tell someone "hey, I'm sorry you're dying?" So instead, for the time that I was still speaking with my family, my aunt's cancer was like the white elephant in the room.
I have never really been comfortable with death other than something more than a passing teenage fascination with it, so it isn't surprising to me that I have avoided visiting my aunt until now. Quite honestly, if my cousin hadn't asked me to come, I may have avoided it altogether.
I want to live my life with meaning. I want to know that when my time comes that people will have good memories of me and that I made a difference in my universe.
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
(thanks Linkin Park)
When my time comes, I hope people come to visit me.
No comments:
Post a Comment