"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein
It's been six days since my last post to you. I'm not even going to try and pretend that I meant to write or that I did write, or even try to catch up on each of the days in an each by each segment in this blog. You deserve better.
I've pretty much spent the last six days feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, I said it, the cheerleader has become depressed. When I was younger and I'd have a bad day, or an incident with one of my friends (as 12 year old girls are want to do from time to time), my mother would say "Oh my aren't we feeling sorry for ourselves!" (I'm not sure if she said "exclamation mark", but you have to imagine a highly ethereal waving of the arms into some nether place). Back then I never really thought I was feeling sorry for myself, but rather just feeling sad or bad about what was happening.
To this end I can truly say I have been depressed. Since starting at JDFT, I have actually gained weight. As of my weigh-in yesterday, I was 150.7 pounds. 150.7 pounds. 150.7 pounds. If anyone has been keeping track, that is an increase of 10.8 pounds. The good news is 3 of those pounds are muscle. The bad news is that leaves 7.8 unaccounted for pounds of ...FAT!
For you mathletes out there, let me explain how this works. One pound equals 3500 calories. 3500 calories. In order for me to have gained this 7.8 unaccounted for pounds of FAT I would have had to eat an additional 27,300 calories. 27,300 calories. Did you know that the average original Twinkie (http://www.hostesscakes.com/twinkies.asp) has 150 calories? That would mean that I would have to eat 182 Twinkies to gain the weight that I have gained.
Further to this, I have been working out 6 days a week. Thanks to Jo Dumont, of Jo Dumont Fitness Training my training schedule looks something like this:
Monday Training - 700 calories
Tuesday Circuit - 500 calories
Wednesday Hardcore - 700 calories
Thursday Running - 700 calories
Friday Hardcore - 700 calories
Sunday Running - 600 calories
That is 3900 hundred calories burned through exercise. If we only need to burn 3500 calories to burn a pound - how in the world am I gaining weight?!
So, as you all know, I had gone in to see a doctor. I didn't actually start seeing the doctor about my weight gain. I actually went to see the doctor in response to what presented as a bladder infection. The reason we found out about this bladder infection was because my period was late and I'd been peeing in a cup faithfully every Monday for about a month. ANYWAY, I digress. The bladder infection really wasn't a bladder infection at all, but what it did alert the physician to was that I was feeling pretty crappy, tired, achy a bunch of things, so he sent me in for blood work.
The results of the blood work indicated that I was hypokalemic. What is hypokalemic you ask? Well thanks to the wonders of Wikipedia I can tell you that Hypokalemia (American English), hypokalaemia (British English), or hypopotassemia (ICD-9) refers to the condition in which the concentration of potassium (K+) in the blood is low. The prefix hypo- means "under" (contrast with hyper-, meaning "over"); kal- refers to kalium, the Neo-Latin for potassium, and -emia means "condition of the blood."
In short, the blood tests indicated that I was very very low in potassium. Why is this important you might ask? With thanks to Three Fat Chicks on a Diet (http://www.3fatchicks.com/), I can tell you this: "Potassium helps you lose weight by converting food into energy and assisting to build muscles. The bigger and stronger your muscles are, the more calories they burn. With a healthy intake of potassium, your muscles will get bigger, and in turn, burn more calories. By helping you build bigger muscles, and by providing the energy you need to exercise, potassium is a dieter’s dream mineral! Keep up your potassium levels, and your muscles will overtake your fat in no time! Potassium also helps you balance the sodium in your cells, which helps with weight loss and provides other health benefits including reducing your risk of high blood pressure."
Now, I'm not saying that my lack of potassium has ANYTHING to do with the weight that I've gained, but at least I'm feeling somewhat hopeful that by getting on these wonderful potassium tablets and eating more potassium rich foods, that we can finally break that barrier of weight gain and turn it into a weight loss!
You'll forgive me if I don't celebrate until I'm at least back at my starting weight.
Goal weight - 125 pounds. Pounds to go - 25. ugh.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
"What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want". - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
It's official. Today I broke 150lbs. I am devestated. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. For the last month and a half I have worked out, eaten better than I have in my life, and all I have to show for it is a new wardrobe of stretchy clothes since the other ones don't fit.
It's a scary thing, watching those numbers climb up. I want to believe that it's all muscle, but we all know that's not true. So what is going on?
I saw my doctor the other day, not really related to the increase in weight, but now I'm starting to feel like it might be symptom. I really need to not self-diagnose since everything the internet tells me is that it may be kidney related. In any case, my doctor sent me for a bunch of blood tests and we'll see what comes from that.
Faith, right?
It's official. Today I broke 150lbs. I am devestated. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. For the last month and a half I have worked out, eaten better than I have in my life, and all I have to show for it is a new wardrobe of stretchy clothes since the other ones don't fit.
It's a scary thing, watching those numbers climb up. I want to believe that it's all muscle, but we all know that's not true. So what is going on?
I saw my doctor the other day, not really related to the increase in weight, but now I'm starting to feel like it might be symptom. I really need to not self-diagnose since everything the internet tells me is that it may be kidney related. In any case, my doctor sent me for a bunch of blood tests and we'll see what comes from that.
Faith, right?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” - Author Unknown
I'm a little frustrated today. Maybe cranky. I am having a difficult time trying to decide what emotion I'm toying with that doesn't make me sound like a big baby.
I am a classic over achiever. Generally speaking I am successful at whatever I put my mind to which is why I have been so excited about this renewed effort at eating better, working out and spending time at Jo Dumont Fitness Training. So it should come as a bit of a surprise to anyone that I've gained 8 pounds since starting at JDFT and that contrary to what I'd like to believe, it's not all muscle. I think it is really important at this point to state affirmatively that I don't believe that this weight that I appear to be unable to shake has anything to do with JDFT because there are scores of success stories that come out of JDFT. I plan to become one of those success stories.
I know and acknowledge outright that I have not eaten well the last few days. It's not that I have eaten bad food, but I haven't been feeling well and so I have not eaten as much as I probably should. I actually went to the doctor yesterday who sent me to the lab today to get blood work done - cholesterol, B12, thyroid, everything, all over something that presents like a bladder infection without high nitrates. So maybe some of this is chemical?
Because I had to fast for 10 - 12 hours prior to getting blood work done, Jo told me that I'm not to workout today. I have to admit that I emotionally took that the wrong way when she first said it, but I understand where it comes from and why that would be important today. If my car has no fuel I can't go anywhere, so why would it be different if my body has no fuel?
All I know for sure is that the energy I first had when I started eating more isn't there anymore and I'm frustrated and disappointed that I can't seem to start losing weight, which was sort of the whole point of the exercise. Lose weight, gain muscle. I appear to be in the gain/gain portion and it doesn't feel like a win/win.
I'm a little frustrated today. Maybe cranky. I am having a difficult time trying to decide what emotion I'm toying with that doesn't make me sound like a big baby.
I am a classic over achiever. Generally speaking I am successful at whatever I put my mind to which is why I have been so excited about this renewed effort at eating better, working out and spending time at Jo Dumont Fitness Training. So it should come as a bit of a surprise to anyone that I've gained 8 pounds since starting at JDFT and that contrary to what I'd like to believe, it's not all muscle. I think it is really important at this point to state affirmatively that I don't believe that this weight that I appear to be unable to shake has anything to do with JDFT because there are scores of success stories that come out of JDFT. I plan to become one of those success stories.
I know and acknowledge outright that I have not eaten well the last few days. It's not that I have eaten bad food, but I haven't been feeling well and so I have not eaten as much as I probably should. I actually went to the doctor yesterday who sent me to the lab today to get blood work done - cholesterol, B12, thyroid, everything, all over something that presents like a bladder infection without high nitrates. So maybe some of this is chemical?
Because I had to fast for 10 - 12 hours prior to getting blood work done, Jo told me that I'm not to workout today. I have to admit that I emotionally took that the wrong way when she first said it, but I understand where it comes from and why that would be important today. If my car has no fuel I can't go anywhere, so why would it be different if my body has no fuel?
All I know for sure is that the energy I first had when I started eating more isn't there anymore and I'm frustrated and disappointed that I can't seem to start losing weight, which was sort of the whole point of the exercise. Lose weight, gain muscle. I appear to be in the gain/gain portion and it doesn't feel like a win/win.
Monday, August 23, 2010
“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” - James Arthur Baldwin
Today was a Personal Training Day with Jo over at Jo Dumont Fitness Training. Have I mentioned how much I love the one-on-one training? Don't get me wrong, the classes are also great, but there is something just extra challenging about the personal classes.
The workout today was shoulders and abs. My shoulders really need the help. After dislocating my right shoulder 15 months ago I have not done very much in terms of exercise or rehabilitation. I should mention that I never had great shoulders in the first place and for the first time in my life I can actually see muscles - thanks to Jo!
Part of the workout today also included balance. As a former cheerleader you would think that balance would be easy (imagine, my standing on one foot on someone else's hand), however, it's not. I attribute this to now having breasts which were conspicuously absent from my cheat throughout my cheerleading years (god bless electrical tape) - but I digress. Balance - something new to work on. Go figure.
Today was a Personal Training Day with Jo over at Jo Dumont Fitness Training. Have I mentioned how much I love the one-on-one training? Don't get me wrong, the classes are also great, but there is something just extra challenging about the personal classes.
The workout today was shoulders and abs. My shoulders really need the help. After dislocating my right shoulder 15 months ago I have not done very much in terms of exercise or rehabilitation. I should mention that I never had great shoulders in the first place and for the first time in my life I can actually see muscles - thanks to Jo!
Part of the workout today also included balance. As a former cheerleader you would think that balance would be easy (imagine, my standing on one foot on someone else's hand), however, it's not. I attribute this to now having breasts which were conspicuously absent from my cheat throughout my cheerleading years (god bless electrical tape) - but I digress. Balance - something new to work on. Go figure.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." - Author Unknown
So, I totally missed posting on Saturday so I thought I would give you a bit of a weekend re-cap.
First, a big Hell Yeah to Jo Dumont Fitness Training and Jase Nibourg (http://www.myspace.com/jase_nibourg) for putting on an awesome Kid Safe and Women's Self Defense class this past weekend. It was a great class and I learned a lot! For those bloggers that don't know, my daughter is now able to yell at the top of her lungs "Stranger, Danger, 911!" even if it's just her and I in an aisle of a grocery store. I could never be prouder. I think the women who attended in the evening got a lot of out it as well.
For me, I spent the evening with a woman I don't know very well, but our daughters go to the same school. It was a wonderful opportunity to step outside my box and get to know someone while they were throwing me to the ground. Thanks for that, Jacquie!
Today, despite being a little sore and tired from yesterday, I did manage to run five kilometers. It was hard though since I didn't have much fuel in me. I have not been feeling very well, but don't want to have excuses not to train. So, I stumbled through a crappy run, but I got it done.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I need a good workout, it's been a few days and I feel like I'm cheating on myself somehow. That's a whole other level of guilt....
So, I totally missed posting on Saturday so I thought I would give you a bit of a weekend re-cap.
First, a big Hell Yeah to Jo Dumont Fitness Training and Jase Nibourg (http://www.myspace.com/jase_nibourg) for putting on an awesome Kid Safe and Women's Self Defense class this past weekend. It was a great class and I learned a lot! For those bloggers that don't know, my daughter is now able to yell at the top of her lungs "Stranger, Danger, 911!" even if it's just her and I in an aisle of a grocery store. I could never be prouder. I think the women who attended in the evening got a lot of out it as well.
For me, I spent the evening with a woman I don't know very well, but our daughters go to the same school. It was a wonderful opportunity to step outside my box and get to know someone while they were throwing me to the ground. Thanks for that, Jacquie!
Today, despite being a little sore and tired from yesterday, I did manage to run five kilometers. It was hard though since I didn't have much fuel in me. I have not been feeling very well, but don't want to have excuses not to train. So, I stumbled through a crappy run, but I got it done.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I need a good workout, it's been a few days and I feel like I'm cheating on myself somehow. That's a whole other level of guilt....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
"The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations." - Eli Khamarov
Oh my god do I feel like shit. I can't begin to explain how absolutely shitty I feel today. I swear to god, there is a rock in my stomach, bouncing up and down saying "die, Bitch, die".
Now this is obviously not true, rocks can't talk.
But it's true, for the first time in a month and half where I am finally living cleaner, I have hit a roadblock. My stomach hurts and I don't want to eat, infact the very notion of food makes me feel like throwing up! What in the world is wrong with me?
Today I have eaten a piece of toast with peanut butter, nearly threw it up, and that's about it.
God, I feel like shit.
Oh my god do I feel like shit. I can't begin to explain how absolutely shitty I feel today. I swear to god, there is a rock in my stomach, bouncing up and down saying "die, Bitch, die".
Now this is obviously not true, rocks can't talk.
But it's true, for the first time in a month and half where I am finally living cleaner, I have hit a roadblock. My stomach hurts and I don't want to eat, infact the very notion of food makes me feel like throwing up! What in the world is wrong with me?
Today I have eaten a piece of toast with peanut butter, nearly threw it up, and that's about it.
God, I feel like shit.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
“There may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke.” - Vincent Van Gogh
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire - or at least the entire interior of British Columbia. There is so much smoke, I can hardly see my hand infront of my face - and I live in Alberta! I have never seen anything so crazy in my life.
Needless to say, running class was out unless Amanda was prepared to carry the oxygen tank with her. It's bad enough that I had to use my inhaler like a Pez dispenser (http://www.pez.com/). I can't even imagine what THAT run would have looked like.
There is a lot of worry for me when I ponder breaking routine, missing a class, not following through...the fear is that if I make an excuse not to go, that the ability to make those excuses will become easier - how many days till working out becomes a habit?
The bright side of all of this of course, is that JDFT was completely accommodating to my situation. Amanda texted me, asking if I was going for a run and I replied no, but that I wanted to come in for a workout. There wasn't one in the plan, but they let me come in and workout. We did this amazing 20 minute "circuit on speed" and apart from some slip-ups from not knowing the actual exercise, I was able to complete the circuit. Then just for fun, I ran some steps.
I am so glad that I have found JDFT.
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire - or at least the entire interior of British Columbia. There is so much smoke, I can hardly see my hand infront of my face - and I live in Alberta! I have never seen anything so crazy in my life.
Needless to say, running class was out unless Amanda was prepared to carry the oxygen tank with her. It's bad enough that I had to use my inhaler like a Pez dispenser (http://www.pez.com/). I can't even imagine what THAT run would have looked like.
There is a lot of worry for me when I ponder breaking routine, missing a class, not following through...the fear is that if I make an excuse not to go, that the ability to make those excuses will become easier - how many days till working out becomes a habit?
The bright side of all of this of course, is that JDFT was completely accommodating to my situation. Amanda texted me, asking if I was going for a run and I replied no, but that I wanted to come in for a workout. There wasn't one in the plan, but they let me come in and workout. We did this amazing 20 minute "circuit on speed" and apart from some slip-ups from not knowing the actual exercise, I was able to complete the circuit. Then just for fun, I ran some steps.
I am so glad that I have found JDFT.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
"O wad some Power the giftie give us, to see ourselves as others see us!" - Robert Burns
I first read this quote in an Archie Comic Book. (http://www.archiecomics.com/) I know that at the time it had something to do with how Archie viewed himself in the mirror and how his reflection looked nothing like how the rest of his Gang saw him. In fact, he saw this huge buff guy, and we all know that is not how Archie was made up.
It makes me wonder though, how many times we look in our mirror and see EXACTLY how everyone else sees us. I am going to speculate that we never see ourselves the way that others see us.
Today I did Hardcore and then followed it up with a Circuit class (because I had nothing better to do than exercise tonight). While training, Jo made a comment about how we all had great looking calves. I scoffed and suggested that wasn't the case and Jo said "your calves are on the back of your legs, you can't even see them!"
Little does Jo know, and even if she does know it should come as no surprise, that I check out my body on a daily basis, looking for shreds of change that remind me that all of this working out and effort is worth doing. Inasmuch as I see some really awesome changes (are those little abs poking out? Can I really do Left/Right Burpees? Hello Mrs. Bicep....), I still see so many things that aren't how I think they should be. But, every night, I stand on the stool in front of my bed and turn and look at myself in the mirror and I know that I don't see what others see. That mommy tummy that never looks like it's getting smaller, that my ass doesn't seem quite as tight as I'd like it to be, my thighs need to be smaller, is that a wrinkle?
I think that part of change comes with the strange acceptance that our bodies and minds are constantly changing, that there are some shapes that we are never going to be (unless barbie makes a version that is 5'3" with small boobs and big thighs). But I don't need to be that shape, I can look athletic, be fit and be toned and be really really okay with that.
I'm just not there yet. Oh wad some Power giftie give me, muscled thighs and an ass that won't quit.
I first read this quote in an Archie Comic Book. (http://www.archiecomics.com/) I know that at the time it had something to do with how Archie viewed himself in the mirror and how his reflection looked nothing like how the rest of his Gang saw him. In fact, he saw this huge buff guy, and we all know that is not how Archie was made up.
It makes me wonder though, how many times we look in our mirror and see EXACTLY how everyone else sees us. I am going to speculate that we never see ourselves the way that others see us.
Today I did Hardcore and then followed it up with a Circuit class (because I had nothing better to do than exercise tonight). While training, Jo made a comment about how we all had great looking calves. I scoffed and suggested that wasn't the case and Jo said "your calves are on the back of your legs, you can't even see them!"
Little does Jo know, and even if she does know it should come as no surprise, that I check out my body on a daily basis, looking for shreds of change that remind me that all of this working out and effort is worth doing. Inasmuch as I see some really awesome changes (are those little abs poking out? Can I really do Left/Right Burpees? Hello Mrs. Bicep....), I still see so many things that aren't how I think they should be. But, every night, I stand on the stool in front of my bed and turn and look at myself in the mirror and I know that I don't see what others see. That mommy tummy that never looks like it's getting smaller, that my ass doesn't seem quite as tight as I'd like it to be, my thighs need to be smaller, is that a wrinkle?
I think that part of change comes with the strange acceptance that our bodies and minds are constantly changing, that there are some shapes that we are never going to be (unless barbie makes a version that is 5'3" with small boobs and big thighs). But I don't need to be that shape, I can look athletic, be fit and be toned and be really really okay with that.
I'm just not there yet. Oh wad some Power giftie give me, muscled thighs and an ass that won't quit.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
"All this pressure is eating me up inside
And I feel like I'm being buried alive again
All this pressure is tearing me up inside
And the fear of failing is on my mind again
The anxiety is building up inside
And the thought of losing is running strong again." - Rains "Pressure"
I am afraid of very few things: Bees, Wasps, Big Ugly Beetles and Failure.
I have grown accustomed to the concept that Failure is not an option for me and it actually scares me to think I might fail at something. This applies to my work environment, my personal life, and even to me personally.
Born a class over-achiever, my first taste of failure came in sixth grade when I failed a geography test (never mind that by gender alone I'm not supposed to be able to read a map!). What a devastating thing to go through. Honor roll student can't find Japan on a map (don't ask I probably still can't find it). But the idea of disappointing my parents, bringing home something less than a perfect score was horrifying.
Flash forward to university. Honor roll student that wasn't ready to go to university, succumbs to pressure to go be brilliant. When I withdrew a semester and a half later, I viewed it as a failure, disappointing my parents, letting myself down. I cried for an entire night contemplating the decision and when I finally made it, went down to the Dean's office signed the papers and exhaled, I actually felt better.
What I realized in that small moment was that I wasn't really living life for me, instead I was living life to please others. I wasn't really failing me, I had lived in this belief that I was failing me and others when in fact, the pressure to be something that I didn't want to be was crushing to the point I couldn't breathe and until I "chose" to do something that I wanted to do and started living life on my own terms, could I truly exhale.
I still fight the fear of failure. I have a need to be the very best at everything that I do. It's hard for me when I face a situation at work where someone doesn't see things my way, or insists on micromanaging me. The idea that when I don't meet someone else's expectations I somehow have failed - when in fact the problem may not even be me at all.
I wonder sometimes if my desire to be pleasing sometimes leads to this fear of failing? But then I would be dissatisfied if I did less than my very best just to please someone else.
A friend once explained to me about spheres of influence and spheres of control. Spheres of influence are those areas that you are not directly in control of, but have powers and abilities to affect change. Spheres of control are those things you have direct control over. If there is something that occurs anywhere else between these two spheres, my job is to just smile until someone tells me otherwise.
I feel like I've been smiling alot lately.
Circuit Tonight!
And I feel like I'm being buried alive again
All this pressure is tearing me up inside
And the fear of failing is on my mind again
The anxiety is building up inside
And the thought of losing is running strong again." - Rains "Pressure"
I am afraid of very few things: Bees, Wasps, Big Ugly Beetles and Failure.
I have grown accustomed to the concept that Failure is not an option for me and it actually scares me to think I might fail at something. This applies to my work environment, my personal life, and even to me personally.
Born a class over-achiever, my first taste of failure came in sixth grade when I failed a geography test (never mind that by gender alone I'm not supposed to be able to read a map!). What a devastating thing to go through. Honor roll student can't find Japan on a map (don't ask I probably still can't find it). But the idea of disappointing my parents, bringing home something less than a perfect score was horrifying.
Flash forward to university. Honor roll student that wasn't ready to go to university, succumbs to pressure to go be brilliant. When I withdrew a semester and a half later, I viewed it as a failure, disappointing my parents, letting myself down. I cried for an entire night contemplating the decision and when I finally made it, went down to the Dean's office signed the papers and exhaled, I actually felt better.
What I realized in that small moment was that I wasn't really living life for me, instead I was living life to please others. I wasn't really failing me, I had lived in this belief that I was failing me and others when in fact, the pressure to be something that I didn't want to be was crushing to the point I couldn't breathe and until I "chose" to do something that I wanted to do and started living life on my own terms, could I truly exhale.
I still fight the fear of failure. I have a need to be the very best at everything that I do. It's hard for me when I face a situation at work where someone doesn't see things my way, or insists on micromanaging me. The idea that when I don't meet someone else's expectations I somehow have failed - when in fact the problem may not even be me at all.
I wonder sometimes if my desire to be pleasing sometimes leads to this fear of failing? But then I would be dissatisfied if I did less than my very best just to please someone else.
A friend once explained to me about spheres of influence and spheres of control. Spheres of influence are those areas that you are not directly in control of, but have powers and abilities to affect change. Spheres of control are those things you have direct control over. If there is something that occurs anywhere else between these two spheres, my job is to just smile until someone tells me otherwise.
I feel like I've been smiling alot lately.
Circuit Tonight!
Monday, August 16, 2010
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey
I was thinking about age and it's relevance today after a good talk with my friend and personal trainer Jo Dumont. I had been noticing that certain areas of my body hurt is strange and new and wonderful ways. While the pain in my left knee wasn't new, the pain in my right ankle was.
The injuries that I sustained to these body parts were many years ago. The knee that got torqued the wrong way, the ankle that had been broken, far from memory now, suddenly rearing their head as I started using those parts of my body again, in running, and working out. It got me thinking that these injuries didn't plague me through my young adult years, I bounced back from both of these injuries rather handily, so why are they bugging me now.
So I started thinking about change, and to change something now also means a change to something that you've done in the past and you need to get in there and root around and dig things up. Maybe physiological change is a lot the same way. You've got to dig back to those old injuries that you ignored before, give them the attention they deserve and make them stronger, so that you too are made stronger.
I wonder if that's true?
I was thinking about age and it's relevance today after a good talk with my friend and personal trainer Jo Dumont. I had been noticing that certain areas of my body hurt is strange and new and wonderful ways. While the pain in my left knee wasn't new, the pain in my right ankle was.
The injuries that I sustained to these body parts were many years ago. The knee that got torqued the wrong way, the ankle that had been broken, far from memory now, suddenly rearing their head as I started using those parts of my body again, in running, and working out. It got me thinking that these injuries didn't plague me through my young adult years, I bounced back from both of these injuries rather handily, so why are they bugging me now.
So I started thinking about change, and to change something now also means a change to something that you've done in the past and you need to get in there and root around and dig things up. Maybe physiological change is a lot the same way. You've got to dig back to those old injuries that you ignored before, give them the attention they deserve and make them stronger, so that you too are made stronger.
I wonder if that's true?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood, ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time-back home to the escapes of Time and Memory." - Thomas Wolfe
Do you ever do something and then wish that you hadn't? You know, something that seems completely harmless at the time and it returns to you in a way that leaves you completely fearful? Allow me to explain...
When I was in highschool, I was like a circle in a room full of squares, no edges that fit. The advantage of that was that I could float through highschool pretty much unnoticed. The disadvantage was that I could flot through highschool pretty much unnoticed. Somewhere in tenth grade I joined up with the local youth group, my participation was pretty random, but thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I was able to reconnect with the youth pastor at that time. I innocently sent him some photos that I had kept from the Youth Group which he sent to someone else that he had stayed in touch with and now...it's turned into a whole thing about a thing and people are planning to get together on September 9th - in my hometown.
Now ordinarily I could just ignore this sort of reunion (I've had a couple of highschool reunions that I magically put out of mnd), but in this particular case I've been sort of thrust into the event planning "the first thing we've gotta make sure we get Shelley in on this idea, so add her to your email list."
It's really hard to explain the fear that has suddenly gripped me. I don't really know how to get out of this without looking like a knob and yet the very idea of going home for any reason...Good Grief, how do I get myself into these things?
Do you ever do something and then wish that you hadn't? You know, something that seems completely harmless at the time and it returns to you in a way that leaves you completely fearful? Allow me to explain...
When I was in highschool, I was like a circle in a room full of squares, no edges that fit. The advantage of that was that I could float through highschool pretty much unnoticed. The disadvantage was that I could flot through highschool pretty much unnoticed. Somewhere in tenth grade I joined up with the local youth group, my participation was pretty random, but thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I was able to reconnect with the youth pastor at that time. I innocently sent him some photos that I had kept from the Youth Group which he sent to someone else that he had stayed in touch with and now...it's turned into a whole thing about a thing and people are planning to get together on September 9th - in my hometown.
Now ordinarily I could just ignore this sort of reunion (I've had a couple of highschool reunions that I magically put out of mnd), but in this particular case I've been sort of thrust into the event planning "the first thing we've gotta make sure we get Shelley in on this idea, so add her to your email list."
It's really hard to explain the fear that has suddenly gripped me. I don't really know how to get out of this without looking like a knob and yet the very idea of going home for any reason...Good Grief, how do I get myself into these things?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
"If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth." - Mitsugi Saotome
Today was supposed to be my rest day, but instead I changed my mind and went for an 8km run. (Head's up mathletes, that's 5 miles.) What was different today over other days, is that today was my first run in my area of the woods.
I live in the country where roads bisected by other roads every two kilometers, up hills, down hills, blind corners, random dogs who want to join you on the run, people who drive too fast, too close or honk as they come up right behind you, instead of just driving by (I wonder if giving me a heart attack would be murder in this case - I suppose we could ask Officer McMeanie who took the time to spit a rock up at my ass - I wonder if he knows that the donut shop is open 24 hours?)
I did learn a few things about my run today:
1. I did not have enough to eat before I went out.
2. I did not drink enough water before I went out.
3. I need to take advil before I go out.
4. I really freakin' hate running in the country.
I may have already known #4, but whatever thoughts I had previously were reaffirmed today. I got in my car and drove 4km and found that 4km brought me to the highway - can't really run on that, so I was basically forced to do the one thing I hate most about running - I ran 4km in one direction to run 4km in the opposite direction.
The run itself wasn't so bad. Despite items 1-4, about 1/2 my run was spent in the company of a black lab that I at first thought was coming to chew my leg off but wound up being encourating in his own sweet way. But it was somewhere around the 5th kilometer that my left knee started to hurt, then my right ankle started to not just ache, but hurt. I was not prepared for the unforgiving and uneven road surface of the county roads, nor was I prepared for the long incline of some of the roads.
That said, I pushed through, right or wrong, I completed the run and have had bags of ice on my ankle through the night - which I find ridiculous but feels oh so good. The injuries themselves are not new, years of cheerleading taking their toll, which makes me wonder if you really can't turn back time.
I guess we'll find out.
Today was supposed to be my rest day, but instead I changed my mind and went for an 8km run. (Head's up mathletes, that's 5 miles.) What was different today over other days, is that today was my first run in my area of the woods.
I live in the country where roads bisected by other roads every two kilometers, up hills, down hills, blind corners, random dogs who want to join you on the run, people who drive too fast, too close or honk as they come up right behind you, instead of just driving by (I wonder if giving me a heart attack would be murder in this case - I suppose we could ask Officer McMeanie who took the time to spit a rock up at my ass - I wonder if he knows that the donut shop is open 24 hours?)
I did learn a few things about my run today:
1. I did not have enough to eat before I went out.
2. I did not drink enough water before I went out.
3. I need to take advil before I go out.
4. I really freakin' hate running in the country.
I may have already known #4, but whatever thoughts I had previously were reaffirmed today. I got in my car and drove 4km and found that 4km brought me to the highway - can't really run on that, so I was basically forced to do the one thing I hate most about running - I ran 4km in one direction to run 4km in the opposite direction.
The run itself wasn't so bad. Despite items 1-4, about 1/2 my run was spent in the company of a black lab that I at first thought was coming to chew my leg off but wound up being encourating in his own sweet way. But it was somewhere around the 5th kilometer that my left knee started to hurt, then my right ankle started to not just ache, but hurt. I was not prepared for the unforgiving and uneven road surface of the county roads, nor was I prepared for the long incline of some of the roads.
That said, I pushed through, right or wrong, I completed the run and have had bags of ice on my ankle through the night - which I find ridiculous but feels oh so good. The injuries themselves are not new, years of cheerleading taking their toll, which makes me wonder if you really can't turn back time.
I guess we'll find out.
Friday, August 13, 2010
“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” - Mary Anne Radmacher
If there is more proof that someone needs that Jo Dumont Fitness Training is more than just a gym, then you need to come to "Nutrition and Motivation Class." (http://www.jodumontfitnesstraining.com/5115.html)
I hadn't actually intended to go to this class, but I really had nothing going on so I stuck around after Hard Core and sat with Jo and 4 other women and talked about motivation and nutrition. It started with calculating the percentage of body fat, and then converted that to how many pounds of body fat and how many pounds of muscle and bone we carry around. In addition, we talked about the food in our cupboards and the importance of eating clean.
What really struck a chord with me, however, was the concept of "Living With Intent". The idea that whatever you put in your mouth is because you intend to put it there, what you do to your body is because you intend it to. Avoiding MacDonalds because it's the impulsive stop on the way home and easier than making dinner, but planning and deciding to go to MacDonalds is living with intent. I'm just not sure that I ever actually want to intend or impulsively go there anymore.
I am so glad that I had the opportunity to spend time with this group of strong and beautiful women who intend to change their lives.
If there is more proof that someone needs that Jo Dumont Fitness Training is more than just a gym, then you need to come to "Nutrition and Motivation Class." (http://www.jodumontfitnesstraining.com/5115.html)
I hadn't actually intended to go to this class, but I really had nothing going on so I stuck around after Hard Core and sat with Jo and 4 other women and talked about motivation and nutrition. It started with calculating the percentage of body fat, and then converted that to how many pounds of body fat and how many pounds of muscle and bone we carry around. In addition, we talked about the food in our cupboards and the importance of eating clean.
What really struck a chord with me, however, was the concept of "Living With Intent". The idea that whatever you put in your mouth is because you intend to put it there, what you do to your body is because you intend it to. Avoiding MacDonalds because it's the impulsive stop on the way home and easier than making dinner, but planning and deciding to go to MacDonalds is living with intent. I'm just not sure that I ever actually want to intend or impulsively go there anymore.
I am so glad that I had the opportunity to spend time with this group of strong and beautiful women who intend to change their lives.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
"Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation." - Robert F. Kennedy
I found this quote today and my first thought was "Hey, wait, didn't this guy get shot?" So thanks to the wonders if Wikipedia (http://www.wikipedia.com/) I found out that yes, that Robert F. Kennedy, brother of the slightly more famous John F. Kennedy, was mortally wounded by Sirhan Sirhan (The guy so nice they named him twice?).
How prophetic were those words, if not for how the Kennedy's and Camelot have been forged into the anals of history, but how one person can influence an entire history of events. It sort of reminds me of an old television show "Quantum Leap", where - "Trapped in the past, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home."
We can't change our past, but we do have the ability to change our future at any given time if we want to. Do you ever wonder how your actions today influence someone else's future?
I am going to run tonight after I have worked a 16 hour day. I'm tired already but find myself looking forward to running - oh god did I really say that outloud?
I found this quote today and my first thought was "Hey, wait, didn't this guy get shot?" So thanks to the wonders if Wikipedia (http://www.wikipedia.com/) I found out that yes, that Robert F. Kennedy, brother of the slightly more famous John F. Kennedy, was mortally wounded by Sirhan Sirhan (The guy so nice they named him twice?).
How prophetic were those words, if not for how the Kennedy's and Camelot have been forged into the anals of history, but how one person can influence an entire history of events. It sort of reminds me of an old television show "Quantum Leap", where - "Trapped in the past, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home."
We can't change our past, but we do have the ability to change our future at any given time if we want to. Do you ever wonder how your actions today influence someone else's future?
I am going to run tonight after I have worked a 16 hour day. I'm tired already but find myself looking forward to running - oh god did I really say that outloud?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen
Well thank god, it has finally started to happen - I think...I stopped in for Hard Core tonight and stepped on the scale, even though I didn't want to look, I did and guess what!? (Well it's probably not much of a surprise by this point), but yes! I was down 4 pounds from my horrendous weigh-in on Monday. This means I only have four more to go until I am where I started. Hooray for the small victories!
I had an interesting talk with an old friend of mine the other day. I don't fancy myself much of a Face Booker, but I do find that I am using it a lot more often. And for the record, when I say old friend, it likely refers to someone that I met after I left highschool (new readers, go back a few weeks where I share my highschool experience). In any case, this person I spoke to had such very different memories of our past together than I did - which really got me thinking about perception and how we manage our past memories.
I have come to the conclusion that I deal with memories pretty much the way I deal with my house. Keep the things I like, get rid of the things that no longer interest me, are broken, or hold no sentimental value. Why I find this so profound, is that I discovered that even though I spend a lot of time looking forward and valuing change, a lot of the reason for my change is fuelled by the memories that I don't really want to keep. Running away? Perhaps, but is it so bad to want to distance yourself (change yourself) and release yourself from those painful or difficult moments in your past? What's wrong with cleaning your emotional closet once in a while?
For the record, Hard Core was bloody awesome! Ralph Macchio would be proud of my "Karate Kid Switch Kicks". Go Team One!
Well thank god, it has finally started to happen - I think...I stopped in for Hard Core tonight and stepped on the scale, even though I didn't want to look, I did and guess what!? (Well it's probably not much of a surprise by this point), but yes! I was down 4 pounds from my horrendous weigh-in on Monday. This means I only have four more to go until I am where I started. Hooray for the small victories!
I had an interesting talk with an old friend of mine the other day. I don't fancy myself much of a Face Booker, but I do find that I am using it a lot more often. And for the record, when I say old friend, it likely refers to someone that I met after I left highschool (new readers, go back a few weeks where I share my highschool experience). In any case, this person I spoke to had such very different memories of our past together than I did - which really got me thinking about perception and how we manage our past memories.
I have come to the conclusion that I deal with memories pretty much the way I deal with my house. Keep the things I like, get rid of the things that no longer interest me, are broken, or hold no sentimental value. Why I find this so profound, is that I discovered that even though I spend a lot of time looking forward and valuing change, a lot of the reason for my change is fuelled by the memories that I don't really want to keep. Running away? Perhaps, but is it so bad to want to distance yourself (change yourself) and release yourself from those painful or difficult moments in your past? What's wrong with cleaning your emotional closet once in a while?
For the record, Hard Core was bloody awesome! Ralph Macchio would be proud of my "Karate Kid Switch Kicks". Go Team One!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to." - Marilyn Ferguson
I woke up this morning and my first thought, was "Holy Crap, I didn't blog last night". So, here I am, in my kitchen, staring out at a perfectly lovely morning.
Today, I am pondering the egg. I have come to the conclusion that the only way an egg is good is when it's fertilized and makes a sweet little chick that you can later turn into chicken wings. Yet here I am, eating eggs over my sink while typing to all of you.
Last night I did an online bootcamp. I have to say that I love Jo Dumont Fitness Training for making exercise so accessible. I mean really, when you think about it, when was the last time you had a trainer at a gym say, "oh hey and if you can't make it in, go online and do our online work out" or had someone who takes the time to make a Bingo card of exercises to challenge you with. My personal experience with "those gyms" is that as long as they are taking your money they really don't give a hogs behind if you show up, if you workout when you're there, or what you do when you're not at the gym.
What's interesting for me, is that the commitment of the staff at JDFT is completely genuine. I mean, at the end of the day it's up to me to do the work, but as long as I'm willing to give it my best effort, they are willing to give theirs as well. No other gym that I know provides that sort of support and commitment to an individual.
It sort of compels you to be better committed to yourself, doesn't it?
I woke up this morning and my first thought, was "Holy Crap, I didn't blog last night". So, here I am, in my kitchen, staring out at a perfectly lovely morning.
Today, I am pondering the egg. I have come to the conclusion that the only way an egg is good is when it's fertilized and makes a sweet little chick that you can later turn into chicken wings. Yet here I am, eating eggs over my sink while typing to all of you.
Last night I did an online bootcamp. I have to say that I love Jo Dumont Fitness Training for making exercise so accessible. I mean really, when you think about it, when was the last time you had a trainer at a gym say, "oh hey and if you can't make it in, go online and do our online work out" or had someone who takes the time to make a Bingo card of exercises to challenge you with. My personal experience with "those gyms" is that as long as they are taking your money they really don't give a hogs behind if you show up, if you workout when you're there, or what you do when you're not at the gym.
What's interesting for me, is that the commitment of the staff at JDFT is completely genuine. I mean, at the end of the day it's up to me to do the work, but as long as I'm willing to give it my best effort, they are willing to give theirs as well. No other gym that I know provides that sort of support and commitment to an individual.
It sort of compels you to be better committed to yourself, doesn't it?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Q&A Forum - Question #1
Question #1 comes from a loyal and avid reader. Jo asks: Why did you give up cheerleading and how the heck did you end up in an office!
I will preface my response by saying, I absolutely loved cheerleading and that leaving the sport was a very difficult decision. In addition to being a national individual cheering champion, I also lettered twice in cheerleading in highschool. While in highschool, I also had the honor of being a Calgary Stampeders CFL Cheerleader (my highschool coach was given the job of coaching and was able to drive me to the city to cheer, otherwise this opportunity would have never existed for me) and being a Stamps Cheerteam Member also drove my decision to go to the University of Calgary (even though I could have gone anywhere as I was accepted at all of the Universities I applied to.)
After my second year of cheering for the Stampeders, the football club decided that collegiate cheering was not the route they wanted to go (in layman terms, collegiate cheering is the athletic cheering, not the dance teams that you see now) and I am not a dancer, so I had to decide to not try out the following year. From there, my Stamps coach started up the University of Calgary Cheerteam and I joined that and at the same time, I started coaching at a large city of Calgary Highschool.
The UofC Cheerteam did not last very long, infact, I can't even recall if we cheered a game. The coach, was exceedingly frustrated that she could not recruit more guys for stunts and decided that she wanted to try turning it into a dance squad. Again, as above, I am not a dancer and that is not where my passion lies, so when asked if I would stay on the team if they switched formats, I said that I wouldn't and eventually that team folded.
Fast forward two years and I am now coaching the Uof C cheerteam. In addition to coaching I was also able to cheer at the same time. I wrote articles on cheer technique that were published in a national cheer magazine (now defunct) and was responsible for some of the "laws of cheering" which recognized safety in a sport that until the mid 90's had very little regulation.
So what happened? Interest in cheering at UofC disappeared when the support of the university did. Girls did not want to fundraise for their own uniforms and as such the team disbanded. Teachers in highschools did not want to spend any of their time after school supervising cheerteams and those that had cheerteams weren't interested in having an assistant coach.
But that was only part of it. I think somewhere along the way, I got tired of hoping that people would change, that people would view cheerleading as a sport and that minds would open. I was tired of telling 14 year-olds that they couldn't smoke in their uniform, that being drunk at the top of a stunt was dangerous, tired of begging schools for dollars that weren't there. In short, the thing I loved more than anything in the world became work, because I couldn't understand how to share my passion with others and have them agree. I hung up my skirt and have never looked back, other than to think fondly of those good days and I still miss them.
To answer how I ended up in an office - well, I'm sure i would have ended up here eventually. But I never grew up with stars in my eyes. My father was a hardworking man and I grew up believing that you do the job that pays the bills and you start paying bills as soon as you leave school. So I got a job and that's what I did. I often ask myself why I didn't choose differently, ie, go to Banff and work a waitressing job for a year, go to Australia, bum around Europe, instead I chose the path of least resistance, started working at a young age and just became successful doing what I do. But being in an office isn't really my passion. It pays the bills. What I would really like to do someday - someday - is be a motivational speaker, someone who can help facilitate change in others, sort of a life coach, maybe...?
Thanks for asking!
I will preface my response by saying, I absolutely loved cheerleading and that leaving the sport was a very difficult decision. In addition to being a national individual cheering champion, I also lettered twice in cheerleading in highschool. While in highschool, I also had the honor of being a Calgary Stampeders CFL Cheerleader (my highschool coach was given the job of coaching and was able to drive me to the city to cheer, otherwise this opportunity would have never existed for me) and being a Stamps Cheerteam Member also drove my decision to go to the University of Calgary (even though I could have gone anywhere as I was accepted at all of the Universities I applied to.)
After my second year of cheering for the Stampeders, the football club decided that collegiate cheering was not the route they wanted to go (in layman terms, collegiate cheering is the athletic cheering, not the dance teams that you see now) and I am not a dancer, so I had to decide to not try out the following year. From there, my Stamps coach started up the University of Calgary Cheerteam and I joined that and at the same time, I started coaching at a large city of Calgary Highschool.
The UofC Cheerteam did not last very long, infact, I can't even recall if we cheered a game. The coach, was exceedingly frustrated that she could not recruit more guys for stunts and decided that she wanted to try turning it into a dance squad. Again, as above, I am not a dancer and that is not where my passion lies, so when asked if I would stay on the team if they switched formats, I said that I wouldn't and eventually that team folded.
Fast forward two years and I am now coaching the Uof C cheerteam. In addition to coaching I was also able to cheer at the same time. I wrote articles on cheer technique that were published in a national cheer magazine (now defunct) and was responsible for some of the "laws of cheering" which recognized safety in a sport that until the mid 90's had very little regulation.
So what happened? Interest in cheering at UofC disappeared when the support of the university did. Girls did not want to fundraise for their own uniforms and as such the team disbanded. Teachers in highschools did not want to spend any of their time after school supervising cheerteams and those that had cheerteams weren't interested in having an assistant coach.
But that was only part of it. I think somewhere along the way, I got tired of hoping that people would change, that people would view cheerleading as a sport and that minds would open. I was tired of telling 14 year-olds that they couldn't smoke in their uniform, that being drunk at the top of a stunt was dangerous, tired of begging schools for dollars that weren't there. In short, the thing I loved more than anything in the world became work, because I couldn't understand how to share my passion with others and have them agree. I hung up my skirt and have never looked back, other than to think fondly of those good days and I still miss them.
To answer how I ended up in an office - well, I'm sure i would have ended up here eventually. But I never grew up with stars in my eyes. My father was a hardworking man and I grew up believing that you do the job that pays the bills and you start paying bills as soon as you leave school. So I got a job and that's what I did. I often ask myself why I didn't choose differently, ie, go to Banff and work a waitressing job for a year, go to Australia, bum around Europe, instead I chose the path of least resistance, started working at a young age and just became successful doing what I do. But being in an office isn't really my passion. It pays the bills. What I would really like to do someday - someday - is be a motivational speaker, someone who can help facilitate change in others, sort of a life coach, maybe...?
Thanks for asking!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Special Edition - The Q&A Forum
Never one to be unresponsive to the needs of my readership, I have been asked to open a Q&A forum. Ask your questions, personal or otherwise and if I don't know the answer, I will endeavor to find the answer for you.
The Q&A Forum will remain open as long as people keep asking!
The Q&A Forum will remain open as long as people keep asking!
Monday, August 9, 2010
"Optimism is the faith that leads to acheivement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller
I think sometimes that I choose these quotes for me just as much as I do for the hope that someone receives a little inspiration from them. Today I could use a little shot of confidence.
It appears, that despite my best efforts to get in better shape and lose weight, I may have only succeeded in getting in better physical conditioning, but have also managed to gain weight. When I first started gaining weight, I was really okay with it. I mean, I hadn't been eating property for a long time, never eating enough, so it made sense to me that I would gain weight as soon as I was eating properly. I guess I hadn't planned on this going on for this long.
I have been eating better, I've peed in a cup, and all I can come up with is that I'm some anomally. Now Jo, offers that I have done a lot of extreme changes in the last month and my body might just be saying "What the hell?" All I know for sure, is that we aren't going to lay back on this any longer! Jo, who is ever optimistic gives me optimism as well. I can't imagine any time, in any place where improved fitness and better eating will ever be bad.
I will just need to work harder.
I think sometimes that I choose these quotes for me just as much as I do for the hope that someone receives a little inspiration from them. Today I could use a little shot of confidence.
It appears, that despite my best efforts to get in better shape and lose weight, I may have only succeeded in getting in better physical conditioning, but have also managed to gain weight. When I first started gaining weight, I was really okay with it. I mean, I hadn't been eating property for a long time, never eating enough, so it made sense to me that I would gain weight as soon as I was eating properly. I guess I hadn't planned on this going on for this long.
I have been eating better, I've peed in a cup, and all I can come up with is that I'm some anomally. Now Jo, offers that I have done a lot of extreme changes in the last month and my body might just be saying "What the hell?" All I know for sure, is that we aren't going to lay back on this any longer! Jo, who is ever optimistic gives me optimism as well. I can't imagine any time, in any place where improved fitness and better eating will ever be bad.
I will just need to work harder.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
"What's worth the prize is always worth the fight" - Nickleback
I must give my props to Nickleback today as they were my motivation for an 8km run which I can proudly say, with intervals took me 62 minutes. I suppose with some disdain I will also give props to Apple for the invention of the iPod with which I was able to listen to Nickleback during my run. (of course for this prop to Apple, I will also comment on my extreme disappointment in the cost of Apple Care - $80 so that the overly-polite customer service agent could tell me which two buttons to push to restart my iPhone)
As you may recall, I'm not supposed to be running 8km. I'm old and have Runner's knee. But today, I admittedly went against Jo's advice and instead of just doing 5km, I did the full 8. Interestingly enough, my knee didn't bother me for the whole run. I'm still convinced that some of what is going on with me is mental and as long as I thought about random physical activities, like renting out the Gent's Club for an afternoon to hold pole dancing class, my knee didn't bother me at all and nor did the distance that I ran. I did however ponder what type of work-out clothing I would need to attend such a random class.
The only other prevailing thought that I had today, besides working out in a bra and panties, and what sort of disinfectant would possibly be strong enough to make the aforementioned pole dancing class healthy, was that I am scared of being overweight. There I said it. I'm scared. My whole life I have been known for being small, tiny, size zero girl and I am not that girl right now - I continue to have complete faith in Jo and I know that I am doing all the right things that I'm supposed to do to be healthy but at the end of the day, I just really need to know that I am not fat. Is that strange? I look at my body and I stare at all the changes that I see (amazing guns already, tighter ass, I can actually feel muscles growing), but I still find myself looking at the part right in the middle, the belly, which doesn't feel like it's changed at all. Patience is not my strong suit and I can give you a list of references the length of a roll of toilet paper to prove it - but I am doing my very best to be patient with this process, being patient with me.
"I like the bed I'm sleeping in
It's just like me, it's broken in
It's not old - just older
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin I'm in it's alright with me
It's not old - just older."
I must give my props to Nickleback today as they were my motivation for an 8km run which I can proudly say, with intervals took me 62 minutes. I suppose with some disdain I will also give props to Apple for the invention of the iPod with which I was able to listen to Nickleback during my run. (of course for this prop to Apple, I will also comment on my extreme disappointment in the cost of Apple Care - $80 so that the overly-polite customer service agent could tell me which two buttons to push to restart my iPhone)
As you may recall, I'm not supposed to be running 8km. I'm old and have Runner's knee. But today, I admittedly went against Jo's advice and instead of just doing 5km, I did the full 8. Interestingly enough, my knee didn't bother me for the whole run. I'm still convinced that some of what is going on with me is mental and as long as I thought about random physical activities, like renting out the Gent's Club for an afternoon to hold pole dancing class, my knee didn't bother me at all and nor did the distance that I ran. I did however ponder what type of work-out clothing I would need to attend such a random class.
The only other prevailing thought that I had today, besides working out in a bra and panties, and what sort of disinfectant would possibly be strong enough to make the aforementioned pole dancing class healthy, was that I am scared of being overweight. There I said it. I'm scared. My whole life I have been known for being small, tiny, size zero girl and I am not that girl right now - I continue to have complete faith in Jo and I know that I am doing all the right things that I'm supposed to do to be healthy but at the end of the day, I just really need to know that I am not fat. Is that strange? I look at my body and I stare at all the changes that I see (amazing guns already, tighter ass, I can actually feel muscles growing), but I still find myself looking at the part right in the middle, the belly, which doesn't feel like it's changed at all. Patience is not my strong suit and I can give you a list of references the length of a roll of toilet paper to prove it - but I am doing my very best to be patient with this process, being patient with me.
"I like the bed I'm sleeping in
It's just like me, it's broken in
It's not old - just older
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin I'm in it's alright with me
It's not old - just older."
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
"Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don't want to believe that. But if you're over age twenty-one, your life is what you're making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities." - John C. Maxwell
I just played " Guess What's in My Refridgerator?" For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is the time of the week where I open my fridge, take a look around and then close the door as fast as I can before something bluish/green has the opportunity to escape. I am pleased to report that there were no escapees today.
Jo, at Jo Dumont Fitness Training has signed me up with an online fitness and nutrition program called Hyperstrike (http://www.hyperstrike.com/) While I am still working my way around the site, there is an opportunity to plan your meals for a week and then print off a shopping list based on the items found in your meal plans. Then, my daughter and I sat down, discussed good healthy snack and food choices and each made our respective shopping lists and off to the grocery store we go.
I like my local Sobey's. The produce is always fresh, the food tastes good and oh yeah, they still bag my groceries and they don't charge me 5 cents for the priviledge of taking their products, that I have just paid for, home. (Shame on you Big Box Grocery Stores for failing to provide your consumers with a tube of vaseline with each visit). I was able to purchase nearly all of the items on my shopping list from my local grocer. The meal choices appear to be easy to prepare and I look forward to trying Greek Chicken Salad toni9ght.
On a side note: Who in the world thought up kid-size shopping carts anyway? I have two bruises on my ankle which are the direct result of miniature shopping carts driven by children who are distracted by boxes of Lucky Charms!
Check out Hyperstrike for yourself. There is a free trial available to you. Better yet, join JDFT and get a membership for free! What are you waiting for?
I just played " Guess What's in My Refridgerator?" For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is the time of the week where I open my fridge, take a look around and then close the door as fast as I can before something bluish/green has the opportunity to escape. I am pleased to report that there were no escapees today.
Jo, at Jo Dumont Fitness Training has signed me up with an online fitness and nutrition program called Hyperstrike (http://www.hyperstrike.com/) While I am still working my way around the site, there is an opportunity to plan your meals for a week and then print off a shopping list based on the items found in your meal plans. Then, my daughter and I sat down, discussed good healthy snack and food choices and each made our respective shopping lists and off to the grocery store we go.
I like my local Sobey's. The produce is always fresh, the food tastes good and oh yeah, they still bag my groceries and they don't charge me 5 cents for the priviledge of taking their products, that I have just paid for, home. (Shame on you Big Box Grocery Stores for failing to provide your consumers with a tube of vaseline with each visit). I was able to purchase nearly all of the items on my shopping list from my local grocer. The meal choices appear to be easy to prepare and I look forward to trying Greek Chicken Salad toni9ght.
On a side note: Who in the world thought up kid-size shopping carts anyway? I have two bruises on my ankle which are the direct result of miniature shopping carts driven by children who are distracted by boxes of Lucky Charms!
Check out Hyperstrike for yourself. There is a free trial available to you. Better yet, join JDFT and get a membership for free! What are you waiting for?
Friday, August 6, 2010
“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” - Unknown
Have you ever been fascinated by an athlete, a movie star, a famour personality? I have. While I will preface this by saying I have a good life, there has always been a part of me that wonders what my life would have been like if I had chosen differently for myself or had been exposed to different experiences. I have dated CFL football players, NHL Hockey Players, Olympic Athletes and even had a date with a film and television star, and to live in their lives, even for a short while, has given me a lifetime of memories. (Of course for every amazing opportunity that I have been given, I have also been subjected to some sort of "freak-magnet" encounter, like the man on the C-Train who offered me a bite of his Kolbassa, which he pulled out of the front pocket of his war-torn jeans.)
Today I met an Winter Olympic Medalist, and I might say that for the first time in my life, I wasn't filled with awe or envy, but rather discouraged by this individual's lack of gratitude for the opportunities and experiences that they have been given. Infact, the word "spoiled" seemed to be the most appriopriate word I could find to describe this person.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure this person has worked very hard to become an Olympic-quality athlete and I'm sure there were a lot of lean years where they had to scrape by, all the while beiieving in their dreams. I guess my disdain comes from the constant reminder of what a burden the day had been, and "thank god I only have one more public appearance this summer!" when it's these same "public" people who have made the success and support of this individual possible.
I don't know about you, but I think if someone paid me to work out all day and do something that I absolutely loved to do, I'd not have much to complain about - and hell yeah, I'd look amazing!
Have you ever been fascinated by an athlete, a movie star, a famour personality? I have. While I will preface this by saying I have a good life, there has always been a part of me that wonders what my life would have been like if I had chosen differently for myself or had been exposed to different experiences. I have dated CFL football players, NHL Hockey Players, Olympic Athletes and even had a date with a film and television star, and to live in their lives, even for a short while, has given me a lifetime of memories. (Of course for every amazing opportunity that I have been given, I have also been subjected to some sort of "freak-magnet" encounter, like the man on the C-Train who offered me a bite of his Kolbassa, which he pulled out of the front pocket of his war-torn jeans.)
Today I met an Winter Olympic Medalist, and I might say that for the first time in my life, I wasn't filled with awe or envy, but rather discouraged by this individual's lack of gratitude for the opportunities and experiences that they have been given. Infact, the word "spoiled" seemed to be the most appriopriate word I could find to describe this person.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure this person has worked very hard to become an Olympic-quality athlete and I'm sure there were a lot of lean years where they had to scrape by, all the while beiieving in their dreams. I guess my disdain comes from the constant reminder of what a burden the day had been, and "thank god I only have one more public appearance this summer!" when it's these same "public" people who have made the success and support of this individual possible.
I don't know about you, but I think if someone paid me to work out all day and do something that I absolutely loved to do, I'd not have much to complain about - and hell yeah, I'd look amazing!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” - Keri Russell
I need to take a moment and thank you readers for comments and your readership. This blog is nothing without you and I find myself inspired every day by the words you send me.
Today was my fourth official running class although I can officially count the number of runs I have gone on with "two hands" (for those of you who aren't mathletes, that's 6 runs). I still don't get running (really, I don't), but if I were to say anything of motivational value, my ass, is firming up nicely - yup, no extra jiggling where there shouldn't be, my legs appear to have more tone (or Jo has a very complimentary mirror) and my cardio has definitely improved in the last month.
With that however, I have also discovered that I am not 22 years old anymore and that I need to spend more time taking care of my body. Seems I have "Runner's Knee" - yup, an injury doing an activity that I don't get and have only done 6 times. I don't really know if I can call it an injury given that it really doesn't hurt when I'm not running, but it's enough to know that my body is giving me the message that this may be too much too soon.
What's surprising for me, is that realization is actually disappointing me on some level. Being ultra-competitive and finding that my body isn't where my head is at is a tough pill to swallow - even when it's doing something I'm not entirely sure that I enjoy doing. Of course, if I force the issue, I could find myself on the bench instead of just playing less of the game. (basketball reference). So, for now, I'll stick with 3 and 5k runs instead 8 until my knee stops complaining.
In the meantime, I'll keep staring at my ass. (you can too!)
I need to take a moment and thank you readers for comments and your readership. This blog is nothing without you and I find myself inspired every day by the words you send me.
Today was my fourth official running class although I can officially count the number of runs I have gone on with "two hands" (for those of you who aren't mathletes, that's 6 runs). I still don't get running (really, I don't), but if I were to say anything of motivational value, my ass, is firming up nicely - yup, no extra jiggling where there shouldn't be, my legs appear to have more tone (or Jo has a very complimentary mirror) and my cardio has definitely improved in the last month.
With that however, I have also discovered that I am not 22 years old anymore and that I need to spend more time taking care of my body. Seems I have "Runner's Knee" - yup, an injury doing an activity that I don't get and have only done 6 times. I don't really know if I can call it an injury given that it really doesn't hurt when I'm not running, but it's enough to know that my body is giving me the message that this may be too much too soon.
What's surprising for me, is that realization is actually disappointing me on some level. Being ultra-competitive and finding that my body isn't where my head is at is a tough pill to swallow - even when it's doing something I'm not entirely sure that I enjoy doing. Of course, if I force the issue, I could find myself on the bench instead of just playing less of the game. (basketball reference). So, for now, I'll stick with 3 and 5k runs instead 8 until my knee stops complaining.
In the meantime, I'll keep staring at my ass. (you can too!)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." - David Lloyd George
I learned a few lessons today. I think it's important to constantly learn, but today I learned two very important lessons that I will carry with me for a while.
First, read not just for the sake of reading, but for comprehension. The inherent danger in not reading is that sometimes you get to be surprised. For example, my failure to read the schedule at JDFT was the difference between taking a Circuit Class and taking a Hard Core Class.
Ahhh yes, the Hard Core Class. As you may or may not recall, I didn't feel really great about my first Hard Core experience. It had nothing to do with the class itself, but rather that I didn't maybe give it all that I could. Tonight's Hard Core was different. It was "Bingo", which means that I was given a sheet listing various exercises with various repetitions on them, the goal was to complete as many squares as possible during that time. I was able to complete 19 (though I will argue that being unclear on the rules, I did 50 front kicks and 50 side kicks on each leg). It was an awesome workout, and it's impossible not to own a workout that you choose for yourself.
The second lesson however is this: becareful of those things you choose not to do today, because you'll have a week of burpees to do tomorrow.
I learned a few lessons today. I think it's important to constantly learn, but today I learned two very important lessons that I will carry with me for a while.
First, read not just for the sake of reading, but for comprehension. The inherent danger in not reading is that sometimes you get to be surprised. For example, my failure to read the schedule at JDFT was the difference between taking a Circuit Class and taking a Hard Core Class.
Ahhh yes, the Hard Core Class. As you may or may not recall, I didn't feel really great about my first Hard Core experience. It had nothing to do with the class itself, but rather that I didn't maybe give it all that I could. Tonight's Hard Core was different. It was "Bingo", which means that I was given a sheet listing various exercises with various repetitions on them, the goal was to complete as many squares as possible during that time. I was able to complete 19 (though I will argue that being unclear on the rules, I did 50 front kicks and 50 side kicks on each leg). It was an awesome workout, and it's impossible not to own a workout that you choose for yourself.
The second lesson however is this: becareful of those things you choose not to do today, because you'll have a week of burpees to do tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
"Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn't all bad — not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life — to keep us moving ... to keep us growing ... to keep us interested . ... Imagine life without change. It would be static ... boring ... dull." — Dr. Dennis O'Grady
So I totally blew you off yesterday. I was in a foul mood and you know what your mom said about not being able to say something nice....?
Alot of the change that I have talked about has been about the physical changes that I have been going through and my experiences at Jo Dumont Fitness Training, and as great as all of them are, sometimes I kick back and think about what's going on for me mentally through all of this.
I grew up in Anytown, Alberta, population, 3000. A relative suburb of Calgary that I couldn't wait to escape. Growing up in a small town if you've never had the pleasure, only works out for you if you are pretty, popular, rich, smart, or if you're lucky, some strange combination of all four of these attributes. As you may recall, I was none of those things. I remember this guy I used to cheerlead with once saying, "In 10th Grade it was like, oh hey, there's Shelley, and in 11th Grade it was like, Hey, Shelley! and in 12th Grade it was Oh Wow, There's Shelley", that my physical change through three years of high school was amazing. But the funny thing about small towns, is that you don't challenge the norm. You would never dream of telling your friends that you think that one of the biggest losers in school was actually...pretty?
Needless to say, when I was 18 I couldn't run away fast enough. There was even a time after I turned 18 that I pondered dropping out of school and leaving an honor roll standing behind because I couldn't wait to leave. Funny thing about Anytown, is that the longer you stay, the less likely you are to leave. I was ready to start my new life.
Highschool, the longest 785 days that you can ask someone to live through and I'm not always sure I know how I managed it. It's been many years since highschool and even now, I still chase away the demons of that time. Even though I do my best to make a conscious effort to ignore the ugly, lonely little girl in the mirror, every once in a while I find her there staring right back at me. This lack of esteem of course comes from many different avenues, not just highschool, but those are for other blogs, on other days.
I find new confidence every day, and my time at JDFT has been no exception to this experience. It's still early but I already feel a great kinship that forms almost effortlessly there. I have other friends, sure, and as I get older, life seems to inject people into my life in new ways, other parents at school, people I work with, and even people that I meet simply through random events. These people have likely always been there, but it's my ability and willingness to be open to having my life changed by their touch in my life that makes the difference.
It's not a perfect formula and I'm pretty particular about who I surround myself with, but I'm open to more possibilities, the more happy I am with myself.
I look forward to meeting you.
So I totally blew you off yesterday. I was in a foul mood and you know what your mom said about not being able to say something nice....?
Alot of the change that I have talked about has been about the physical changes that I have been going through and my experiences at Jo Dumont Fitness Training, and as great as all of them are, sometimes I kick back and think about what's going on for me mentally through all of this.
I grew up in Anytown, Alberta, population, 3000. A relative suburb of Calgary that I couldn't wait to escape. Growing up in a small town if you've never had the pleasure, only works out for you if you are pretty, popular, rich, smart, or if you're lucky, some strange combination of all four of these attributes. As you may recall, I was none of those things. I remember this guy I used to cheerlead with once saying, "In 10th Grade it was like, oh hey, there's Shelley, and in 11th Grade it was like, Hey, Shelley! and in 12th Grade it was Oh Wow, There's Shelley", that my physical change through three years of high school was amazing. But the funny thing about small towns, is that you don't challenge the norm. You would never dream of telling your friends that you think that one of the biggest losers in school was actually...pretty?
Needless to say, when I was 18 I couldn't run away fast enough. There was even a time after I turned 18 that I pondered dropping out of school and leaving an honor roll standing behind because I couldn't wait to leave. Funny thing about Anytown, is that the longer you stay, the less likely you are to leave. I was ready to start my new life.
Highschool, the longest 785 days that you can ask someone to live through and I'm not always sure I know how I managed it. It's been many years since highschool and even now, I still chase away the demons of that time. Even though I do my best to make a conscious effort to ignore the ugly, lonely little girl in the mirror, every once in a while I find her there staring right back at me. This lack of esteem of course comes from many different avenues, not just highschool, but those are for other blogs, on other days.
I find new confidence every day, and my time at JDFT has been no exception to this experience. It's still early but I already feel a great kinship that forms almost effortlessly there. I have other friends, sure, and as I get older, life seems to inject people into my life in new ways, other parents at school, people I work with, and even people that I meet simply through random events. These people have likely always been there, but it's my ability and willingness to be open to having my life changed by their touch in my life that makes the difference.
It's not a perfect formula and I'm pretty particular about who I surround myself with, but I'm open to more possibilities, the more happy I am with myself.
I look forward to meeting you.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Sunday August 1, 2010
"Before you can even try to change an undesirable trait, you have to zero in on exactly what it is that you need to change and why." - Joyce Brothers
What a ground-breaking day today was. I ran my first 8 kilometer run - solo. For those of you who know me, and even those of you who don't. It's probably not hard to tell what a feat this would be.
I have always thought that I needed to wear my ipod when running to avoid the distraction of pounding feet on the pavement. What I learned today, is that my feet aren't the problem - it's my head. It's amazing when left to my own devices, the aches/pains and excuses that I can come up with:
- Oh, my ass hurts
- Is that my hip flexer again?
- My legs hurt so much
- Who's going to know if I just walk?
- Are you crazy?
- No one's going to care if you walk, you're only letting yourself down.
- I didn't know that Don't Need Nothing, But a Good Time was so slow.
- My ass hurts.
Despite all of this, I still managed to keep going, even if my methodolgy was as little less than orthodox. A few longer than should be rest periods to get my head back in the game. There was some realization about an hour in that I could possibly beat my time of last Sunday. This appeared to be my motivation for the rest of my run and I was able to run these 8k, 4 minutes faster than the previous week. I will need to work harder on getting those negative thoughts out my head (and possibly use the Playlist Function from iTunes)
On a side note, I would like to thank Cellutel for putting reflective windows in their building. It was a treat to watch my pastey little legs as I ran past their building - looks like spray tan scores the first point.
Looking forward to working out in the park tomorrow!
What a ground-breaking day today was. I ran my first 8 kilometer run - solo. For those of you who know me, and even those of you who don't. It's probably not hard to tell what a feat this would be.
I have always thought that I needed to wear my ipod when running to avoid the distraction of pounding feet on the pavement. What I learned today, is that my feet aren't the problem - it's my head. It's amazing when left to my own devices, the aches/pains and excuses that I can come up with:
- Oh, my ass hurts
- Is that my hip flexer again?
- My legs hurt so much
- Who's going to know if I just walk?
- Are you crazy?
- No one's going to care if you walk, you're only letting yourself down.
- I didn't know that Don't Need Nothing, But a Good Time was so slow.
- My ass hurts.
Despite all of this, I still managed to keep going, even if my methodolgy was as little less than orthodox. A few longer than should be rest periods to get my head back in the game. There was some realization about an hour in that I could possibly beat my time of last Sunday. This appeared to be my motivation for the rest of my run and I was able to run these 8k, 4 minutes faster than the previous week. I will need to work harder on getting those negative thoughts out my head (and possibly use the Playlist Function from iTunes)
On a side note, I would like to thank Cellutel for putting reflective windows in their building. It was a treat to watch my pastey little legs as I ran past their building - looks like spray tan scores the first point.
Looking forward to working out in the park tomorrow!
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