Wednesday, August 18, 2010

"O wad some Power the giftie give us, to see ourselves as others see us!" - Robert Burns

I first read this quote in an Archie Comic Book.  (http://www.archiecomics.com/)  I know that at the time it had something to do with how Archie viewed himself in the mirror and how his reflection looked nothing like how the rest of his Gang saw him.  In fact, he saw this huge buff guy, and we all know that is not how Archie was made up.

It makes me wonder though, how many times we look in our mirror and see EXACTLY how everyone else sees us.  I am going to speculate that we never see ourselves the way that others see us. 

Today I did Hardcore and then followed it up with a Circuit class (because I had nothing better to do than exercise tonight).  While training, Jo made a comment about how we all had great looking calves.  I scoffed and suggested that wasn't the case and Jo said "your calves are on the back of your legs, you can't even see them!" 

Little does Jo know, and even if she does know it should come as no surprise, that I check out my body on a daily basis, looking for shreds of change that remind me that all of this working out and effort is worth doing.  Inasmuch as I see some really awesome changes (are those little abs poking out?  Can I really do Left/Right Burpees? Hello Mrs. Bicep....), I still see so many things that aren't how I think they should be.  But, every night, I stand on the stool in front of my bed and turn and look at myself in the mirror and I know that I don't see what others see.  That mommy tummy that never looks like it's getting smaller, that my ass doesn't seem quite as tight as I'd like it to be, my thighs need to be smaller, is that a wrinkle?

I think that part of change comes with the strange acceptance that our bodies and minds are constantly changing, that there are some shapes that we are never going to be (unless barbie makes a version that is 5'3" with small boobs and big thighs).  But I don't need to be that shape, I can look athletic, be fit and be toned and be really really okay with that.

I'm just not there yet.  Oh wad some Power giftie give me, muscled thighs and an ass that won't quit.