Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"Change has a bad reputation in our society. But it isn't all bad — not by any means. In fact, change is necessary in life — to keep us moving ... to keep us growing ... to keep us interested . ... Imagine life without change. It would be static ... boring ... dull."   — Dr. Dennis O'Grady

So I totally blew you off yesterday.  I was in a foul mood and you know what your mom said about not being able to say something nice....?

Alot of the change that I have talked about has been about the physical changes that I have been going through and my experiences at Jo Dumont Fitness Training, and as great as all of them are, sometimes I kick back and think about what's going on for me mentally through all of this.

I grew up in Anytown, Alberta, population, 3000.  A relative suburb of Calgary that I couldn't wait to escape.  Growing up in a small town if you've never had the pleasure, only works out for you if you are pretty, popular, rich, smart, or if you're lucky, some strange combination of all four of these attributes.  As you may recall, I was none of those things.  I remember this guy I used to cheerlead with once saying, "In 10th Grade it was like, oh hey, there's Shelley, and in 11th Grade it was like, Hey, Shelley! and in 12th Grade it was Oh Wow, There's Shelley", that my physical change through three years of high school was amazing.  But the funny thing about small towns, is that you don't challenge the norm.  You would never dream of telling your friends that you think that one of the biggest losers in school was actually...pretty?

Needless to say, when I was 18 I couldn't run away fast enough.  There was even a time after I turned 18 that I pondered dropping out of school and leaving an honor roll standing behind because I couldn't wait to leave.  Funny thing about Anytown, is that the longer you stay, the less likely you are to leave.   I was ready to start my new life.

Highschool, the longest 785 days that you can ask someone to live through and I'm not always sure I know how I managed it.  It's been many years since highschool and even now, I still chase away the demons of that time.  Even though I do my best to make a conscious effort to ignore the ugly, lonely little girl in the mirror, every once in a while I find her there staring right back at me.  This lack of esteem of course comes from many different avenues, not just highschool, but those are for other blogs, on other days.

I find new confidence every day, and my time at JDFT has been no exception to this experience.  It's still early but I already feel a great kinship that forms almost effortlessly there.  I have other friends, sure, and as I get older, life seems to inject people into my life in new ways, other parents at school, people I work with, and even people that I meet simply through random events.  These people have likely always been there, but it's my ability and willingness to be open to having my life changed by their touch in my life that makes the difference.

It's not a perfect formula and I'm pretty particular about who I surround myself with, but I'm open to more possibilities, the more happy I am with myself.

I look forward to meeting you.