Sunday, August 8, 2010

"What's worth the prize is always worth the fight" - Nickleback

I must give my props to Nickleback today as they were my motivation for an 8km run which I can proudly say, with intervals took me 62 minutes.  I suppose with some disdain I will also give props to Apple for the invention of the iPod with which I was able to listen to Nickleback during my run. (of course for this prop to Apple, I will also comment on my extreme disappointment in the cost of Apple Care - $80 so that the overly-polite customer service agent could tell me which two buttons to push to restart my iPhone)

As you may recall, I'm not supposed to be running 8km.  I'm old and have Runner's knee.  But today, I admittedly went against Jo's advice and instead of just doing 5km, I did the full 8.  Interestingly enough, my knee didn't bother me for the whole run.  I'm still convinced that some of what is going on with me is mental and as long as I thought about random physical activities, like renting out the Gent's Club for an afternoon to hold pole dancing class, my knee didn't bother me at all and nor did the distance that I ran.  I did however ponder what type of work-out clothing I would need to attend such a random class.

The only other prevailing thought that I had today, besides working out in a bra and panties, and what sort of disinfectant would possibly be strong enough to make the aforementioned pole dancing class healthy, was that I am scared of being overweight.  There I said it.  I'm scared.  My whole life I have been known for being small, tiny, size zero girl and I am not that girl right now - I continue to have complete faith in Jo and I know that I am doing all the right things that I'm supposed to do to be healthy but at the end of the day, I just really need to know that I am not fat.  Is that strange?  I look at my body and I stare at all the changes that I see (amazing guns already, tighter ass, I can actually feel muscles growing), but I still find myself looking at the part right in the middle, the belly, which doesn't feel like it's changed at all.  Patience is not my strong suit and I can give you a list of references the length of a roll of toilet paper to prove it - but I am doing my very best to be patient with this process, being patient with me.

"I like the bed I'm sleeping in

It's just like me, it's broken in
It's not old - just older
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin I'm in it's alright with me
It's not old - just older."